Thursday morning, the sun shines but it’s cold out there, cold as the waitress on the night shift at the Okemos Dennys, cold as Dustys cellar, cold as the sweat on an Old Fashion glass full of Sazerac. It’s colder in the NW as I hear tell. They gave me a shot of live flu to teach my auto immune system to fight it. I think that’s what this planet is doing to the infestation of primates and their attendant yuckiness.
Just a theory, not even a very original one.
In a couple of hours I’m going into the banging tube like the minty filling of Haredawg whitener. Ok, it’s just an MRI; BANG,BAG,BANG, FUCK! You know, MRI. I could make a short story long, but why? It was about time for one of those anyhow. Bitches won’t even give me an eight by ten glossy for the wall or a three by four for my wallet.
No need to worry kids, I know what’ll show, the docs aren’t taking my word for it. I’m surprised they have up until now. I’ve had enough of these where I’m not freaked out. In general I think they should give valium or Xanax to people in for their first through tenth time. MRI’s is where some folks discover claustrophobia for the first time. It’s like being in a really small elevator while they are doing maintenance on it.
I have an old doors tune stuck in my head. I don’t remember most of the words so it’s stuck like — Oh something something to the next whisky bar, oh do not something, oh do not something. Yet another reason to purge the primates. Speaking as a primate I’d rather not go out that way, I’d like it if we went out like the dinosaurs; in hummers and Dodge Ram pickemups. Again, it’s why the primates need purging.
When we get to that next whisky bar I’d appreciate it if you did something something. Be nice.
Loading comments...