Today is mother’s day. I remember when I was my own childrens’ ages how much I wanted to be a mother. I knew it was my destiny. In 8th grade we watched a video in health class that was a woman giving birth. It was meant to deter us from getting pregnant anytime soon, but I thought it was such a beautiful, joyous moment. Embarrassingly, I cried in class that day but I don’t think anyone noticed. I had such intense baby fever all throughout high school and my true career goal was to be a stay-at-home mom. My life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would, but whose usually does? I am happy to say that I have three wonderful, interesting, and funny school-age kiddos now that I’m so proud of. The baby and toddler years were definitely the most challenging (oddly enough, before having kids I thought this part would be the easiest for me). The older they get, the challenges are different. But it’s really cool getting to be their mom. My oldest is finishing 7th grade in a couple of weeks and I was so scared of him going to middle school. It was some of the worst years of my life… But he’s thriving. Sometimes I have to let my own trauma go so they can learn and thrive themselves. I never told him how awful middle school was for me in hopes it would be good for him. Letting go and trusting has been the biggest lesson I’ve learned being a parent as well as picking battles, as they say.
They all gave me homemade cards today and it was so nice and I feel so grateful.
I am feeling good lately. I haven’t had much pain for the most part. My partner and I will be moving in together soon, but he practically lives here anyway. My lease is up in August. Next month will be our five-year anniversary. Wow, time flies.
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