Day 122 - Updates on Various Ridiculousness
in These Foolish Things
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May 2, 2025, 10:14 p.m.
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- Public
Time Flies So Fast: It’s already MAY!! How did that happen? I feel like just a few days ago I was thinking about how I’d have a new job before I left for the Indonesia trip with Head Cat…and now, here we are, fast approaching the weekend I was supposed to be traveling with The Diva! The latest on this saga is that the expo organization or someone made an Instagram Reel publicly shouting out the fact that he will be live and in person at the show. So apparently, according to our social media manager, Head Cat made a response video saying that he has a medical condition that won’t allow him to fly long distances! Can you even? What a fucking liar. I have zero respect for the dude at this point, but I still need a job, so I won’t blow this up yet…
Mom and Dad: Oh boy. Where to even start? Mom’s dementia is really progressing. She has now mistaken my dad for HER own dad several times. And at one point this week, she asked who my dad even was. My dad was able to convince her that he was her husband, though she told him that he looked very OLD (duh), and then she decided that she wants her “house back.” What that means is, you know my parents made a little apartment on the side of their own [very modest] house and mom and dad live in the tiny apartment and my brother, SIL and niece live in the original house. Well, mom wants her old space back. And I can’t blame her! That tiny apartment is suffocating for two old people. Not only that, my bro and his fam have kinda trashed the house and it breaks my parents’ hearts! So the long story is, my dad called me one evening (while I was driving) to call an impromptu family meeting. They got my bro and his family and put me on speaker phone. It got super weird because I think my bro was drunk and he was shouting f-bombs and N-BOMBS (!!!) and generally being a total selfish prick. I told my dad later that if he ever yelled that way in another meeting situation that I won’t be a part of it. But it looks like they are going to make a transition to let mom have her old, large, comfortable bigger bedroom back. It’s going to take a lot of work, but my dad is determined.
White Lotus Girl Dinner: Anni came to town this week. She was traveling with another woman (and a third that I didn’t know about - I think she was a last-minute addition). Anni and I had planned to go to dinner one or two of the nights she was here, and I was planning on having “the talk” with her about her dick moves when she gets drunk and mean to me (yes, JUST me! It’s weird behavior). However, when we all met outside the restaurant, there was yet another friend who appeared, so that made our dinner a party of FIVE, and the restaurant was so noisy, and ughhhhh…it just wasn’t the space/place/time. It would have been super awkward and just totally inappropriate to have a sidebar about Anni being a bitch to me. So I just enjoyed it. Dinner was absolutely wonderful, and at the end, Anni insisted on paying for my dinner!! She absolutely refused to let me try to pay for my own part, and I was honestly a little embarrassed, but I wonder if she thinks that’s some kind of way to make up for everything? I don’t know. It’s funny, somebody brought up The White Lotus during dinner, but we didn’t dig deeply into the girlfriend trio. I just wonder if we all knew that it could get messy if we did? Who knows? I was invited to dinner the next night, but then uninvited the next morning due to a reservation mix-up of some sort, but I wasn’t mad. I was relieved. It was too much to think about. Yes, I wussed out again. I’m still thinking about how to broach the subject before Sedona. Yes, yes, I know what I’m getting myself into if I don’t. It’s totally on ME.
Pickleball League: I finally got tired of waiting for the [My City] Tennis and Pickleball Club to contact me again about league play. I think the leader of the league doesn’t like me, and that’s why he’s never sent me any updates (he said he would and then…ghosted). So, I took it upon myself to do a search for Pickleball leagues in my area, found one that looked legit and BIG…like, I’d meet a lot of new people this way. And I signed up for it! League starts on May 12th. Then, after I’d signed up and paid, I did even more research (on websites like Reddit), and discovered that this league is full of VERY YOUNG people! Like, these guys are in their 20s! I’m approaching THREE TIMES their age! WTF. But then I found another Reddit thread that said these guys will pick and choose and put me on an appropriate team. I do hope that means a team with cute older gentlemen - ones that aren’t dicks, are single, and attractive. Can you all help me manifest that? Thanks. Let’s see how we do at the first game!! I’m going to be rusty. Maybe I should practice somewhere/sometime? I want to make a decent impression. Thinking…
Is My Surgeon Single? On a sort of related note, somehow I got to thinking about the doctor who performed my colon surgery (in 2021) and how attractive he is to me. Back when I was going through my cancer ordeal, the guy seemed so much older and wiser and comforting, but then, as I was thinking about him, I wondered how old he actually is. So I did a little internet sleuthing, and do you know what? That man is only ONE YEAR OLDER THAN ME!! Like, how on earth is that even possible? And THEN I decided to see what I could find out about his personal life. Like, is he married, where does he live, etc. And when I’m determined…I find shit. Like, he just bought the cutest tudor house in a stunning neighborhood that I LOVE in 2023. But I kept scrolling and didn’t see anything mentioning a wife. I found his *recent* bio on his office’s website, and it mentions three grown kids and the fact that he’s contemplating a dog…awwww!!! But it doesn’t mention a WIFE!! And I also found a *previous* bio of his on another website that does mention his wife, so I’m thinking…I’m thinking this guy is SINGLE and ready to MINGLE!! But then I thought about the fact that this man has not only already seen my bare ASS, he’s also seen the INSIDES of my ass. Alllllllll the way up! He’s taken a big ol’ cancerous tumor out of me and resected and fused the healthy parts of my intestines back together. He’s been “all up in my guts” and not in the sexy way!! And then, after maybe an hour or so, I realized that I’m spending too much mental energy on this. It was fun to think about, though!
Chat GPT Photo Roast: And just so you know just how MUCH time I’m wasting online lately, I followed a trend I’ve seen out there, I guess on Facebook, maybe? Now I can’t remember, but it involves pasting a photo of yourself into a Chat GPT prompt and asking it to roast you. So I plugged in a selfie of myself wearing a pretty green wrap dress. Here’s what came up for me: You look like you just stepped out of a J.Crew catalog titled "Divorced but Thriving." That polka dot dress is working overtime—like it’s trying to distract from the fact that you definitely start emails with “Per my last message…”
That balcony selfie angle screams, “I don’t need a man… but if he owns a lake house, I’ll consider.” And don’t think that necklace’s chunky gold links are fooling anyone—it’s giving “I teach pottery on weekends and judge people for microwaving leftovers.”
You’ve got the confident smile of someone who knows damn well they’re the best-dressed person at Whole Foods… and makes eye contact just long enough to be mysterious, then disappears into the organic produce like a well-accessorized ghost. I guess you have to see me in the pic, but I think these are funny. I also plugged in a photo of Anni and me at dinner and it was kind of hilarious as well. I’m surprised it didn’t mention The White Lotus, but it did say this (in part): The combined energy here could shut down a mid-tier resort just by complaining about the thread count. You don’t walk into restaurants–you descend, trailing perfume, opinions, and at least one minor lawsuit. Haha! So freaking true! I’m nervous about Sedona next month!
xox,
GS
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