I’ve been having this recurring dream. About once a month, I dream that I’m having an alcoholic beverage of some sort. Like, I am in a social situation where I say, ok! I can have a drink, and then I look down at my hand with a drink in it and I say to myself, “What are you doing?! You’ve worked so hard and come so far, and you just broke a promise to yourself without much thought!”
And then I wake up.
It’s so strange since I feel like I never really had a huge problem with alcohol. I mean, I never got a DUI (when I probably should have, multiple times); I never let alcohol interfere with my work (though the hangover days were wasted days if I’m being honest…and then at the end when I was drinking before work at The Cutie Pie Company); I wouldn’t say I was an alcoholic, but maybe I was?
I don’t know.
Since I’m counting the days of the year this year as part of my diary entry titles, I can easily tell you that it’s been 479 days since I’ve had a drink, and I don’t think that much about it during the day, but I suppose that my subconscious is still working through this process.
Alcohol is a strange entity, isn’t it? We put so much importance and meaning on it. It’s clearly so much more than just a beverage. And now that I look at it so much more objectively, it’s a little hard to believe that it’s a legal substance and obtained and used so easily and liberally.
I’m not suggesting anything. I’m just saying that it’s an interesting issue that’s so much deeper than just “having a drink.”
Dreams are wild.
xox,
GS
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