I do not know why I feel so much grief about being excessed from my job. I knew it was going to be a possibility at some point. Also, I think it’s hard for me to hold two different emotions at the same time- the anxiety and anger from Lachlan and the grief and sadness from m y job. It made me feel so down this weekend.
I hate the not knowing, too. Both from te possibility of maybe my job staying and the unknown f what the fuck Lachlan is talking about and then blowing it all up in my head. The communication just reminds me off all the passive crap from when we dated. in 2018. 7 years ago.
I don’t understand love. I don’t understand why he loves me. I don’t want him to love me. I just want to be friends and have zero expectations on his part. I feel like no matter what, he has an ulterior motive of being with me or winning me over. Like if he just waits, I will change my mind or something.
Truth is, and I’ve known this for a lonng time, I value my friendships way more than i ever have romantic relationships.
This from an intuitive writing session with a meditation before and after.
Loading comments...