carmentheblue ⋅

~Curiosity epicurian~~Wonder-maker~~Eyes wide open~~Cards held close~

"Her ways were free, and it seemed to me, the sunshine walked beside her."

Townes Van Zandt

Entries 206

Page 1 of 9

Looks like on this day, four years in a row i am posting an entry. 2018 has brought a lot of activity in my life, but not a lot of writing. In the past that meant i was not reflecting as much as ...


I’ve been lucky to catch up with good films. This one is probably more well-known than many others i’ve posted. Wes Anderson is a fairly recognizable indie director, having directed The Grand Bu...


One of the best. Please watch it, if possible. Also. Devastatingly sad.


April 12, 2018

Good Grief in Random Thoughts

I can’t get this song out of my head. I am excited to see this artist, Dessa, in a couple weekends. The album, Chime, is my new favorite. I can’t wait to delve into her previous albums.


I loved this film, for many reasons. One, it’s filmed near the physical location of my heart (Washington State) by a local woman director, Lynn Shelton. Two, the music is perfect (Andrew Bird di...


I had a lovely day watching movies and knitting with a dear friend of mine (we call it ‘stitch and bitch’ though there is very little bitch involved). I’d heard such good things about this movie,...


February 27, 2018

Dear So-and-So in Random Thoughts

My heart is pounding and my breath is shallow. My body’s reaction to actually responding to the dramatic message i got last week. It took me a while to process it, move on from being hurt, and op...


February 21, 2018

Process in Random Thoughts

I am going to process an experience here, on this frozen snow day, a day home in which i have been doing dishes, laundry, bits of knitting. It is amazing how one emotional punch makes me feel so ...


I’ve always like P.T. Anderson films, and this one follows suit. I loved it. I want to see it again. Highly recommended.


Everyone knows about this movie, now that it is up for many Oscars. I liked it, as i did the same director’s 2 previous movies. But, beyond great performances by Sam Rockwell and Frances McDorman...


What a way to start seeing great film! Friday i had a training in the am and took the second half of the day off. I chose to see a 12:30pm movie at a local living room theater style cinema, order...


January 05, 2018

investigation in Random Thoughts

Last meeting with my therapist (two weeks ago, last Saturday i was in CA with family helping with my grandpa’s estate) i learned that i have a diagnosis. Of course, i needed one for my (generous,...


January 02, 2018

equanimity in Random Thoughts

You’d think that with 2 weeks off i would have found time to write. I had relatively few days to just relax. My grandpa died, so most of the time (last week) i had slated for relaxing or doing c...


December 11, 2017

transmission 94 in Random Thoughts

I quickly checked my last year’s entries. About this time was the first big snows Portland area had, with quite a few snow days off. It was when i was really falling for Ian. I took a day off and...


When I have shared with you what i need and who i am in this relationship, what i hear is that it is not enough or is somehow wrong (with words like “right now you are unwilling to [share more of...


One of the best movies of the year (along with Columbus)


November 02, 2017

Question in Random Thoughts

Last night I told Clay that i was going to be and hour + late for the half day Buddhism class we are both taking this upcoming Saturday. His response was “that’s ok” This raised my hackles (which...


I knew i would love this, like i knew i would love Columbus. I saw this director’s debut, Tangerine a couple years ago, and it was quite good. A story of a hidden side of homelessness most folk ...


October 10, 2017

untitled for now in Random Thoughts

finding the time to write has been hard, as well as feeling like i actually want to write. So, here i am, five minutes before the end of my prep period, writing. Tomorrow i am going to the second...


October 05, 2017

conflict in Random Thoughts

i have an entry brewing, but life has been so busy that it may come in spurts. First off, i started taking adderoll for ADD symptoms (possibly). It’s something i’ve suspected for years, my mind i...


The trailer makes mother! look like a horror film. It’s not. It’s not a real story, per say…every character is an archetype. I think people will talking about mother! for a long time. I think its...


O! O! How did i know i would love this before i even saw it? “a soft spoken reverie” says one tiny clip on the trailer. music, pacing, cinematography, the way conversations are filmed indirectly ...


September 15, 2017

close enough in Random Thoughts

Lately my spirit has had a more tentative connection with my physical body than usual. Acupuncture, tantra workshop, my first Buddhist meeting, meditation even… all of these have been putting me ...


September 03, 2017

3 part dream in Random Thoughts

All week i knew it was a detailed dream week, but i kept being woken from sleep (warm nights with the french doors wide open). Finally Friday night i dreamed with much detail, even though much of...


August 30, 2017

Summah in Random Thoughts

Its been a summah. Today is the first teaching day with kids. It was good. Hectic. Some stressors. Some delights. For some reason i thought i might have the time to write over the summer, but a...


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