carmentheblue ⋅

~Curiosity epicurian~~Wonder-maker~~Eyes wide open~~Cards held close~

"Her ways were free, and it seemed to me, the sunshine walked beside her."

Townes Van Zandt

Entries 172

Page 1 of 7

3 days ago

finishing in Random Thoughts

I don’t know the title of this entry yet. Lately i’ve been focused on finishing projects. I completed two knitting projects- a lace shawl made with a cashmere wool blend, and a two color cowl th...


5 days ago

Bruised in Random Thoughts

I will tell a story sometime soon.


Heart warming documentary for a heart bruising day. Highly recommended


Last night i put in a mixed cd from years ago, “Mix me a Cure,” a mix of different songs by The Cure (oh-so-clevah!). I’ve thought about writing for a while now. This morning might be the first t...


The trailer calls this movie a “Hitchcockian Thriller” or some such. I heartily disagree. The trailer includes everything you need to see in this movie. Move on from here. Still, i hear the dire...


In behavioral theory (which i know some of because i am a special education teacher), you learn that kids have behaviors (not necessarily bad things, it could be anything) have two motivations: w...


April 07, 2017

Vulnerability in Random Thoughts

I’m trying something new, this entry is purely verbal – recorded from my phone. I started reading a book by an author I have been wanting to read for a while, her name is Brene Brown. You may ha...


March 31, 2017

question in Random Thoughts

I was asked a good question here on PB. I’ve mulled it about a little bit, but not fully immersed myself. “What would be your ideal ‘arrangement/relationship’ with Ian?” My answer was “I don’t kn...


March 27, 2017

retreat in Random Thoughts

Not the type of retreat where you back down, but the kind where you escape for a few days of solitude, yoga, meditation, and tech free relaxing. I am considering whether i had a big important tak...


March 23, 2017

Spiral in Random Thoughts

I spiraled, trying to figure out whether i qualify for teacher student loan forgiveness. Everyone i spoke to was nice, but they couldn’t really answer my questions. Here’s the lowdown: To qualify...


”When the mind’s activity is stilled, we see life as it is.” I read a book last month, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. It was the beginning of perhaps a “growth spurt” i...


I am going to talk about the ease (Jamie), as i was musing on it yesterday, but i also want to get into the therapy work i have been a part of in regards to intimate relationships (Ian). Plus a l...


March 15, 2017

Dreams in Random Thoughts

I forgot to talk about a really creepy dream i had last night. I think i have all of the parts, but i am not sure i will get them organized the way in which they unfolded. I am with my sister (my...


So many words i could share, we will see what spills out this morning. Yesterday i was thinking that i would love to have hair the color of the morning. Ian said it would be various shades of pe...


February 28, 2017

Home in Random Thoughts

It is a slightly different day, today. I have a training this morning, so i am absent the first part of the day. It was hard to get myself up and go to the gym, so my second choice was yoga and m...


February 25, 2017

The Sensual World in Random Thoughts

Today i spent quality time with music i haven’t heard in a while, a lot of Bob Dylan. I started the morning and bright blue skies with Royal Albert Hall 1966 (over 50 years ago!). I am currently ...


I don’t get to see Ian tonight as has been our usual, so when i had a chance to see a movie in Portland Thursday night, i invited him. We saw the Oscar nominated shorts, plus a few extra ‘notable...


February 09, 2017

The waves at night in Random Thoughts

A couple of thoughts: I’d like to live more in the moment and think less about the immediate future. I find myself thinking about what plans i have for the next couple months and how fast time is...


February 07, 2017

Overworked in Random Thoughts

Sometimes i get to a point where i feel i can’t organize everything in my brain. I feel generalized anxiety, even though there is not much to really worry about. My body has been hurting more th...


February 07, 2017

LaLa Land (#2) in Independent Film- 2017

Since this is an Oscar contender, it might not seem like the kind of film i would talk about. But. I heard about it and planned to see it before it was splashed all over. Color. Charm. Music. The...


Here is a video introducing TRE, which i have been doing for about a year now. It’s been instrumental in my mental health and addressing my childhood trauma issues. I’ve been taking private class...


Now with edit I found this in my draft box from 01/05/17 (even though i saw it before 2017) and never posted it. Oh well, here ya be. Now that i think on it, i was not far off my mark to see one ...


January 26, 2017

Firecracker in Random Thoughts

This morning’s text has me wiggling in my seat, “I know i would much rather be fiddling around in your drawers than whatever it is i am actually doing.”


January 24, 2017

like kids in Random Thoughts

TMI entry: forewarning, this entry has sexual content Like kids: me (so very close to 40) and he, 47…woke in the middle of the night- his first night ever sleeping in my bed- to that lust. The in...


The one where you don’t want to say goodbye and you want to adjust your plans to see that person again? I am out of town next weekend and won’t see Ian. I feel like my brain is taken up by him. I...


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