Crown in Aftermath

I’ll do another ten minutes 20 minutes of this crown Chakra frequency I think so much fucking overthinking that it’s telling me to write while listening to this. I feel so much fucking tension here it’s like torture but somehow I have adapted to the cruel silence the calculated noise it’s so weird here.
I feel so much rage here and sadness of course my own rage but also others maybe I don’t know. Just nothing seems to really be going right at times. Good things happen yet but things seem to get harder and I feel fucking drained living here and not at home return to sender. I wonder if return to sender is a karmic trap if I should transmute instead I think the answer it that it depends.
Why does it have to be so hard for us?
Why is it like this ticking time bomb bullshit. There is no pow wows I don’t think on sucks if I don’t feel less stressed after 29 minutes of this I’ll try maybe sound bowl one or root Chakra or I can do another one the 9 minute one try this first and take an Ativan I think after maybe will help I hate sleeping so late and waking so late it’s so fucked up I do believe that will change though
This place could be fucking good if the vibe was fucking better .
So Mike was fucking poppy not sure for how long ugh I feel embarrassed I feel like I don’t know caught up in his fucking web sometimes. I don’t know what’s true what’s not how I really feel how he really feels and where this is going and if I want it to go anywhere or what you know. Just feel so confused. And fusterated.
It’s scary sometimes if course you know.
Fuck that door person glad I’m not going on live it’s hard to discern sometimes energy wasters and savers but I made the right decision it just showed me I can’t take pressure from rude or apathetic people right now. I need to create boundaries and space energetically for myself to figure this all out on a way
I am proud of myself for going to the garbage and throwing shit out
I have done throat Chakra heart Chakra today I’ve done third eye Chakra I’ve done crown Chakra I’ve done sacral and I’ve done root all of them the ones that I need more of is the crown chakra which I’m doing right now than the sacral than the solar plexus than. The root chakra I think. I wish to go to the store but probably won’t I’ll take cards for that. It’s faster to go to the store than it usually is and lately it’s been safer and less stressful because I don’t need to cross the street stop or wait so that is good. Mister milk looks so cold and borded up. At first I didn’t believe them I didn’t want to especially after I saw that Tom Tok smabljt another store talking about liquidation and how stores do that to encourage sales but I guess it really is fucking gone you know.
Imagine it wasn’t though and they bought it back. Crazy. Or I bought it. Lol people would just rob me all the time steal from me or not come in. Lol
Milo Is on top of me I love his groundedness he’s the only one who really grounds me and protects me I can’t trust anyone else like I said before no one has given me a reason to fucking trust them you know. I always feel bad for fucking Chester you know? I do and don’t I guess because I’m confused myself about my fucking life but I’m aware of shit it was hard back in the day less resources less help it’s not the best now but it’s not like it was either completely where you are swimming all by yourself. It’s fucking hard life. He should give himself a pat on the back. Fame is fucking tough especially comming from the environment he did.
Nowadays it’s hard too I’m sure you know.
The people are Harvey’s were normal and nice to me I’m not used to it. I’m used to having fucking anxiety everywhere I go because of other people’s fucking jealousy you know? And just racism selfishness and ignorance like how can you live being so fucking ignorant and selfish and not feel bad and no one ever calls anyone out really and when they do it’s a big thing as well it’s annoying. It’s just so fusterating and annoying. People can drive me nuts I swear. Luckily I don’t have to deal with them on a daily basis on this colonized land where everyone fucking triggers me because they disrespect me and can and do walk around like nothing has fucking happened. Fuck AJ fuck poppy fuck them all. For forgetting and. It giving a shit either
Who the fuck gave them a fucking platform? Fucked up world we live in that’s why I guess. That’s why. I’m so hungry still wonder if I should have some chicken fingers or what I don’t know.