Had a good day at work. Got stuff done that I wasn’t expecting to. Now I’m just waiting for the ballgame to start. I’m waiting to see if Delia has to work on Friday. She said she’d let me know if she can go with me to the harvest carnival at church on Friday night. I’m looking forward to hanging out with her, smile.
I just want to go forward. I want to experience life the way He wants me to. I don’t believe in all of my past that I have ever really done that. I know what I want and who I want it with. I’m driven to get the things that I want.
I really am looking forward to Saturday, and helping to feed the homeless some dinner meals. I’d relish the opportunity to sit down and talk to someone, because I am in my own little bubble for so many isolated bits of time. I have been that way for wicked long periods of my life, and the time has come to leave that behind. I mean that not by just pushing it away, or far enough down that I can’t see it for long moments. but giving it to the Father and letting him work it so that it will be a blessing returned to me.
I want to work through it. I want to document my feelings. I want to understand what it is that preceeds the periods that I struggle with. This life is much too short to not be able to figure things out that need to be undone.
I don’t believe anything that I hear on the radio, other than God’s true words.
I don’t trust what’s on the shelves at the supermarket. We are buying our own toxic deaths.
Why are there so many health disasters these days that our parents never had to deal with?
I don’t trust that any corporation has any of our “best interests” at heart.
I do believe in love.
I do believe in Salvation.
I do believe in what my heart has to offer.
I do believe that my words are spoken from the deepest recesses of my heart.
I do know that the next woman will receive my best.
She will have a man that has overcome his mistakes, learned from them and moved on.
She will have a man that went through a devastating experience and called out to the only one who could help him, and is the only reason as to why he is standing here today, the Lord.
She will have a man that has never strayed and has kept himself pure because he would never do anything to foster any regrets outside of a committed relationship.
The only thing I want is,
I want my days with her and her alone (after the Lord of course).
Cheers,
Cbj
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