April 25 - Not As Fragile in These Foolish Things

My dermatologist called me with the results of all of the biopsies he did last week.

He sounded very, very serious.

I started bracing myself for the absolute worst. In my mind, the very worst news he could have told me was that one or all of the biopsies came back positive for melanoma. THAT is the killer skin cancer that nobody wants to have. Ugh. And his tone was pretty dire.

What he told me was in this order:

1) My scalp biopsy came back as positive for alopecia areata, which is concerning, but I haven’t seen any further loss, so I’m not really freaking out over that. Except for the question: why? And why now? But again, if I’m not getting more bald spots, let’s hope this is a minor blip for my scalp.

2) The biopsy on left shoulder was benign. I could have told you that. In fact, I believe the doc actually cut off some of the scar tissue from my Mohs surgery last year when that fast-growing squamous cell cancer popped up and the surgeon had to cut a large swath of my shoulder. But, relief nonetheless.

3) The biopsy on right shoulder was positive for basal cell carcinoma. Good news is that it was caught early and a simple procedure called scrape & burn will be used to take that sucker out. I’ve had that done before on a basal cell I found on my forearm. No biggie. Let’s cut ‘er out!

4) The biopsy on left thigh was positive for squamous cell carcinoma. And that sucker apparently has to be cut out a bit deeper, so the doc will dig out a bigger hole and stitch it up. Not as dramatic as Mohs surgery, but still a procedure.

Can I tell you the relief I felt after hearing all of that? I mean…sure, it sucks that I’m having to get all of these spots of cancer removed, but they are the pesky little suckers that come with having fair skin and being out in the glorious sunshine.

I don’t know why the doc sounded so serious. I guess hearing that I’m going to have to get some stitches might freak some people out…but look out, doc! I’m experiencing Post Traumatic Growth! I can conquer this shit and do it with a freaking SMILE at this point.

So there you have it. I’m getting older, getting balder, growing barnacles and little skin knobbies.

WHO WANTS TO DATE ME?!!! COME AND GET IT!

Love you,
GS