On with the Tale of Woe…
When the new “smart phone” would not connect, and with the difficulty of the laptop connecting to our router, I thought perhaps it is the router that is the problem.
She wanted to rush back to the store to return her phone claiming she is to dumb, to stupid to do what everyone else does, even three year olds.
I suggested that she call Mandy, see if she could spend some time teaching her. But she would hear nothnig of that, claimng Mandy had no time in her life for Deb, which is true.
Deb was filled with rage and anger and it grew all day long.
Finally she called the internet service provider and together on the phone we established that indeed it was the router.
And it continued.
She is giving the provider hell about the router, BUT, it is not the brand they issue.
We had service before she got her laptop and she wanted to use it all over the house and not be teathered to a cable, so we got the router with wireless connection.
She refused to believe me.
I got the bill and showed we are not on the Smart Program, as they call it.
Then she bitched about why do we have a Smart Power Meter.
Refusing to believe me she called the company and they told her that we are NOT on the Smart Program.
Her voice changed, her demeaner changed, it was if she was defeated and beaten down as she requested a service change and to be placed on the Smart Program.
The rest of the evening we had no interaction, little conversation. The tension was huge and terrible.
We may ahve watched some television together, but we were just there.
I finally took 2mg. of Lorazepam to make me feel better and to realize none of this is my fault or blame.
I see she will never change. Any bump in the path she is on soon grows into a mountain. She degrades herself in an attempt to make others feel bad. And God help any individual that suggests,”calm down”, as then she goes ballastic. She does not have very good coping skills or meds.
But in all this, she never once said she was sorry about showing her rage at me and making me feel bad about it all.
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