I took myself off to the beach last night to get out of the house and try to clear my head. I took my camera along and took some grotesque photos of washed up jelly fish and dead crabs, it appealed to my little black mood.
I was just in the car about to come home, 1% battery on my phone, when my grandma called me. And you know when you just know something bad has happened?
She said my grandad was having a hypo but she couldn’t get the machine to work to check his blood sugar. So I said I’d be round to check it for her. Thinking she was being heavy handed and had messed with the settings or something, she does things like that.
When I arrived it was actually a fault with the machine. My grandad looked fine and said he felt mostly fine but a bit dizzy, and when I got the machine working, he was indeed having a hypo. I asked my grandma if she’d given him any glucose tablets and she said no. I’m not being funny but he’s been diabetic forever, and having to inject insulin for the last 11 years. She’s only learnt how to check his sugars this weekend, because he can no longer do his own. I’ve always asked her if she thought it wasn’t something she ought to know anyway, just in case he was ever too ill to check his own but she’s never been bothered.
I don’t really know what the deal is with it all. It’s almost as if, if she doesn’t acknowledge it, it isn’t happening. But it takes me fifteen minutes to get there and if he’s having a properly serious hypo (luckily we caught this one in time) then he’ll be half dead by the time I get there. Why she can’t just give him a glucose tablet herself, or some lucozade, I don’t know. I don’t know why she felt the need to wait for me, because she knows how to manage this.
Thankfully, we caught it before his sugars were crazy crazy low, and he had some lucozade and they popped right back up. Since his stroke his sugars have actually been ridiculously stable and he’s not had a single hypo. But the doc gave him antibiotics last weekend and I’m wondering if that’s been interfering with his insulin. He’d eaten a hell of a lot of sweet food yesterday so must have been feeling the need for the sugar, and still managed to drop his sugars. Something isn’t quite right. Luckily he only has 4 more tablets to take so hopefully things will settle down after that.
I bullied my grandma into calling me anytime of the day or night. She said she didn’t want to bother me. I said I’d rather get a call at 3am saying he’s ill than a call at 8am saying he’s being rushed to hospital half dead. So she reluctantly agreed, and I’ve had no calls. Have messaged her to see how he is, just waiting for a reply.
I’m so infuriated that all this shit is happening in my life and john’s not there to support me. Absolutely out of my mind with rage. I know it’s not even his fault, he’d rather not be feeling like this either, but I’m properly mad. I know he asked for time but I figure I should be able to message him in a crisis. He hasn’t picked his message up, thank god it wasn’t anything more serious. For all he knows the outcome could have been more serious, I just said I’d been called round cos my grandad wasn’t well, he doesn’t know what’s happened after that.
Xx
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