i vetem Isn't Enough Saturday, June 19, 2004
Derek and I should never be used in the same sentence.
Keith and I should never be used in the same sentence.
Me and __ (males name) should never be used in the same sentence.
I officially give up on dating. I have to be alone. That's what I do. Just like when I was a kid. I would sneak out of my parent's home just to walk around town to be alone. I liked being alone. Then I grew up and all of a sudden I want a man in my life. What the fuck for? It's not like sex keeps me alive... Basically all it does is makes in between my legs itch.
Fuck this shit. If I have to be alive... then I choose being alive alone. AY LONE.
If anyone calls me tonight, I am answering the phone, "WHAT?"
This shit stinks.
I hate the fact that God wants me to be alone. Why GOD? I said I was sorry! Isn't that enough anymore? Isn't the fact that I have been alone for so long enough? I can't handle this anymore. You put me on this earth expecting me not to mess up and now that I have you just keep punishing me. Over and over again. All I want is someone to love me! However no one knows how to love someone like me. What the fuck is wrong with me? If I have to look the way I do... If I have to be the way I am... If I have to be this unlovable... THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.
Run.. RUN... RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fall.
Down.
Faster.
Am I not supposed to get mad? Am I supposed to be perfectly unperfect? FUCK THIS.
I am just Shannon. That is all I am. Nothing more... and unfortunitely, it's not enough.
Her.
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