Conversation Between a Phone and Computer [Friends Only Entry] Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Note: Content has been shortened to eliminate confusion. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of each party.
hs(11:41:11 PM): Hey you me: (11:41:19 PM): hi hs (11:43:26 PM): I am on a phone so this could tak a while me:(11:43:49 PM): that is ok. what is up? hs (11:47:22 PM): Nuthing is up just missing u me:(11:47:53 PM): Awww. that's a nice thing to say. KY is a long way away, huh? hs (11:49:13 PM): And wishing i was there me:(11:49:37 PM): well, you know you can visit anytime. Maybe you should come visit? You seem homesick. hs (11:50:47 PM): Yes [ I ] is me (11:51:07 PM): well, what else is on your mind? hs (11:53:49 PM): I am scared i wont want to come back me (11:54:32 PM): It sounds to me that you are very confused. Have you asked her to move up to Lansing? hs (11:55:41 PM): U dont want to [ k ]no [w ] me (11:56:05 PM): yes I do.. or I wouldn't have asked. Why do you think I don't want to know? hs (11:58:13 PM): Only about other things not u me (11:58:31 PM): you confused me.. explain again.
hs(12:13:55 AM): What i mean is i dont think that i will ever get over u me(12:15:21 AM): I know for a fact that you will never get over Tari either. You went back to her because you love her. Besides, some of the things you did make me... hs(12:16:13 AM): What are u confused bout me (12:17:22 AM): ...feel like you never cared about me. I can't go thru that again, and I think you know that. I cared too much for you. me (12:18:36 AM): Do you understand? hs (12:20:26 AM): That was cause she was pregnent me (12:20:35 AM): was? hs(12:24:39 AM): I know and that kinda scared me me (12:24:52 AM): so are you a father now? me(12:27:31 AM): so are you a father now? hs(12:27:58 AM): But u never know what u got till its gone me (12:28:16 AM): Keith, answer the question. hs (12:29:56 AM): No in october me (12:30:09 AM): congradulations. hs(12:32:03 AM): I guess hs(12:33:49 AM): I thought of getting u pregnant me (12:35:00 AM): why? hs (12:36:38 AM): Maybe i will one day me (12:36:51 AM): No, that will never happen. me(12:38:00 AM): You have a family now. There is no need for us to be together. Besides, I have guy I am falling for.... me and you can't be together now.
<<<<>>>>>>>
This was a conversation between Keith and I. The last five sentances truly show exactly what kind of person Keith is. Even I didn't expect this from Keith. How can a man that is with a women who is 6 months pregnant tell another woman he wants to get her pregnant too? In a small way his comment, "maybe i will someday" kind of scares me. I mean, I will never sleep with him again, but what if he, you know... forces me. He has always been a control freak when it comes to sex and I almost wouldn't put if past him. By him telling me he thinks about getting me pregnant means he plans on having sex with me again. Everything I know about Keith is false... and true at the same time. This is so complicated that I can't even explain it. It's almost like Keith thinks he owns me. However, he was so good at lying and manipulating that I didn't even see it coming. I see everything so clearly now, the more I think about it the more nervous I get. I wish I could type out everything on this computer to explain exactly who Keith is but it's so deep, so confusing, and so tricky that it'd be impossible.
The only bright side to this is that I have been here before. I know how to handle this. I have Derek around to get my mind off of this kind of thing. He is very good at making me laugh, and laughing it the best thing I can do. When "Chris" threatened me and raped me I made it through by staying smart. I do not believe that I am in any kind of trouble, but I do believe that it is a possibility. The answer is simple.
Nodi e vetem cum sombra. (but a little more confusing when written in 3 languages.)
Her
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