The Job
It's Friday and a lot has happened this week. I've only been at the job for three days, but I thoroughly enjoy the space, the company, where we are going, the staff, and my job title. Although I feel I am overqualified to be a receptionist, I do feel like I need to be more patient and use this time to move slow, grow and learn, and offer my time to my staff in ways I can help them with their own work.
The job in and of itself is rather boring, but I'm going to use this time to take it easy, read up on news, and spend time learning about where the company is going and how I can fit my skills into advancing the company and their success. Positive attitude, lower my expectations and therefore I won't and can't be disappointed, and always seek out projects instead of waiting to be given a task. I'm capable of a lot and I just need to advertise that.
My Relationship
I'm having a hard time trusting. Just generally, but I'm paying more attention to it. Especially financially. I've always been hesitant to allow someone to run the finances when my own well being is involved. Nothing major or dramatic has happened, but it is something that has sparked many tiffs in the past and present and will continue to do so unless I acknowledge the deep rooted issue. I don't trust my boyfriend to be financially responsible. Now, I have an idea of where this issue has blossomed from and how I can get over this. Regardless of where this issue derives from, I need to get over this hump. I should probably start with acknowledging that he has always had my best interest at heart and that he is older than me and has always taken care of himself since he was a teenager. So, why would I gather such an idea that he can't be responsible once in a relationship with me? I'm crazy. I'm irrational. How I could come up with that and believe it is...ludicrous! So I'm working on that: to be less reactive when we talk about finances, to assume less, and ask more, and to ultimately have more faith in him. I love him, with all my body and soul and spirit, and if I can make that love grow and trust him more than I believe our love can be more stable and more powerful.
The Other Stuff
Wednesday, after work, my boyfriend and I had made appointments to see a Medical Marijuana Doctor so we can get our MMJ cards and buy cannabis legally! So, within 2 hours, we had our appointments, saw a doctor, got cards, walked to a dispensary and bought edibles. It was such an amazing feeling being able to buy, use, and carry cannabis and not be afraid that a herb I enjoy so much is illegal and can land me in jail. Now, with the freedom and capability, I feel less afraid of using it and more curious about the types of cannabis and formats in which I can enjoy it from. I would love to be able to share this feeling with my parents, my sister, and my friends back in New Jersey. The entire experience was pleasant, knowledgeable, eye-opening, and swift. It's overwhelmingly understood that cannabis is awesome.
So awesome.
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