Today my husband finally told what he been having in mind, telling me that I am a couch potato simply because I do not do sports like he do. But do he actually try to understand me before sending this insulting "couch potato" right at my face?
I was born and race in Chinese family where academy triumph over all physical activities, hence, sports are something not in my dictionary, I have to go for gazillion of extra classes after school just to fulfill my parents wish to be a "smart daughter". My father drown before thus he do not let us to learn to swim because he was afraid we will drown too, I know his idea is extremely stupid and selfish but what can we say about that?
After I marry to my husband, and I moved to this beautiful country of Norway, lots of outdoor activities that are waiting for me. I once told him, I would loves to go outdoor too but I cannot become superwoman and climb a 1000m high mountain in 1 hour, I need time to adapt and need time to learn. But he do not get it, all he told me is, oh I think you better don't do it, because it is so high, and normally it will take 3 hours for me, but for you I think 4hours. So what is the different 3 or 4 hours? I willing to try but he never let me, and he just belittle my ability. And now calling me a couch potato just because his daughter (my SD) wanted to go cycling (initially plan was to climb a mountain) and I do not want to join - I didn't cycle for 18years and I might be having a baby inside me because there were some accident while we were having sex few days ago while I am ovulating. So I told him I do not wish to go just in case I am pregnant.
I climbed a volcano in Bali with slippers before I met him, even though I am slow but I managed to go up to the top and enjoying the beautiful view of sunrise. I am so glad I did that because he was not yet in my life to belittle me. To think I am not capable of doing outdoor activities!
I have the ability to adapt and learn, and I know I will, but slow but at least I can do it, I never give up physically but when he start belittle me, I gave up, I guess mental poisoning is far worse.
I just wish he can be a bit nicer instead of saying I am a couch potato without thinking what he said to me all the time that causes me to be a couch potato. I moved all the way here, half the globe to be with him, no friends, no job, no family and he is trying to make me feels bad about everything I try to do.
We were 2 months in Germany and I told him I wanted to learn to swim, since he will be going to school and I have nothing to do, the only thing he told me was, I cannot do it, because I have no tension and have no muscles, so it is impossible for me to learn swimming. I actually learn to float in 1 day after a lesson from my cousin's wife before I met my husband, I can swim in short distance too, and I just wanted to learn and to improve, but he told me I have no muscles and I will not able to swim. It hurts so much but I just give up and keep quiet.
Oh and I actually when for guided tour scuba diving in Bali too before I met him. So yes I am freaking daring and I willing to try even though I am afraid of underwater. But I try because I know I can. I even do a sky diving in New Zealand because I know I can. So what is wrong with him to belittle me. Just give me time and try to understand me. If we do outdoor every now and then, I will be able to be fast one day. Practice makes perfect. Just like I do hundreds of math questions everyday in my school life, now it took me 2-3minutes to finish 20 questions of simple math.
What will he feels when I tell him right at his face that he and his daughter is very stupid and a simple plus and minus, multiply and division took hours to finish. I never do that because I know everyone have different abilities, but he just don't see it. I am teaching them mathematics because my husband have to do algebra at school, and his daughter 9 years old do not know how to do simple math.
I do not sit at home everyday, I do house work, clean, cook, laundry, teach them, create question, correct questions and etc, and the only answer is I am a couch potato. Very nice of him. I feels hurt and very sad and I have no one to talk to. I choose to be with him because I loves him, against my father will, I choose to be with him, and thus I cannot tell anyone how sad I am in this marriage. I try to be very understanding wife, but what I get in return is an insult from a man I entrust my love life with.
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