Here we go again.
I've been sinking gradually for a few days now. I guess this month is a gradual month. This month it begins with feeling flat. There really isn't a better way of describing it that I can think of right now. I just feel flat. Void. Like I'm suspended in water. I imagine it's kind of like when you injure a part of your body, say your ankle... and the ankle swells up to cushion the injury. When my brain is working wrong it seems to do a similar thing. My neurons and thought processes seem slower, cushioned, suspended.
So I apologise if this entry becomes disjointed. Its taking an awful lot of effort to form complete thoughts.
I caught a glimpse of an article on facebook, possibly posted by a mental health page like Blurt or Mind. It was about the high frequency of self harm amongst young girls and suggested that it was perhaps a way to release pent up emotions. My own teenage experience of self harm was the same. In hindsight I can see that my self harming behaviour was most likely related to the cycle of my hormones. It makes me wonder if hormones aren't one of the most important factors in female cases of self-harm. It makes me wonder if hormones aren't behind a lot of other things too. Like some cases of bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, anxiety and depression. I wonder, if they came up with a truly effective medication for hormonal sensitivity, how many disorders could be treated?
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