'So, I've been thinking. And. About.
ok so jumping subjects here. I've been too damn tired to think rationally logically. It's not even that I'm upset about some of his smaller advice/ideas. it's that. The tiredness takes over and therefore I don't think 'hey that's a good idea' or 'I like that'.
Like. he's told me that maybe I could try Benadryl for my nauseau since it's his theory that it's due to allergies. Ok so that's perfectly reasonable. Well one that's not why I have crushed up Benadryl. And B, I appreciate it. And also.........I think he's wrong. I know myself better than that. in that respect, anyway. Honestly it's due to the relapses. cause when I eat I don't feel that way.as.much.
It's like thank you but............I think I already know why/how to handle it. Sprite.
As for the whole.............taking pills-for-headaches.thing. Um. I appreciate it but I don't like the idea of taking pills for that. thank you, I'm not saying don't care. I don't want that kindof quick fix. [which. actually is really funny since whenever I get that achy-right-before-you-get-sick.feeling. i pop 2 of them. But that's the only time. And I'll take Midol monthly for my period but that's different. not sure how yet nor am I asking. well. it is and it isn't].
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So.............on this whole. needing perspective.thing. Um. awhile back I admitted no confessed that I. didn't want him to come to the bar w/ me bc I didn't wnt him asking Sara for advice on his hair tangles.cause I'm a narcissist.
I know she'd be better able to help him w/ that then I would. You know I get that. But, it still bothers me. yeah i'm a bit selfish like that.
Now, he doesn't know this, but that's why we haven't gone to the bar. Earlier tonight when he phoned [currently 8:20 p.m.] I told him it was bc I missed going to the bar by myself. which ok I do. but that's not the main reason.
I mean. eh. it is how it is. I know if I tried to tell him 'no don't do that you can't I won't let you' that would be controlling. as much as I want to.
I guess this is 1 reason I don't have many friends I see regularly [or ok ever] bc I don't want to be on the other end of that. I don't want people - esp. whomever I'm in a relationship w/ - to feel left out. Like I'm dismissing them...............to be perfectly honest.
but. w/e.
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