1:10pm
So, Mom thinks the car idea is a horrible one. I mean, she didn't use the word "horrible" but she definitely made it known that she thinks it's bad and will cost me way too much money.
I don't think she understands that the money isn't an important factor to me. I know it's going to cost a lot of money, I'm not a moron. But I would also have to spend a lot of money on a brand new car. I'm sure I'd love a '65 Buick about a million times more than I would love a 2014 Whatever with all its computerized parts that I would never understand even if I tried. There's really no question about that.
I want something I'll be able to work on. Get my hands dirty underneath the hood. Maybe it's not the 'dream car' I would have liked for my restoration project, but it would still accomplish the Bucketlist item! Plus it reminds me a lot of the Impala and it's not a bad looking car. [Except maybe the part about it being the size of a boat...that isn't my favorite thing ever] I guess she doesn't understand, and I can't figure out how to explain, that this is a dream of mine. The kind that I want to realize before I'm dead and gone forever.
Mostly what gets me is that I have a ton of old feelings bubbling up. The kind that remind me of all the things I wanted to do in life and people told me it wouldn't work out. I listened to them because I didn't know better. I couldn't come up with a good argument against what they were saying.
This feels different. I certainly can't beat "free" as an investment. I know I don't have the space to put it, but maybe if it is really worth it I could put the effort into finding somewhere. Also, I'm sure I could get some free labor out of CK. We've certainly done enough free work for him. My uncle guesses, if all else is good, I could get a new motor for about $1700 and a paint job for between $1500-2000. That's definitely the kind of money I would be willing to spend.
I know I'm jumping the gun here but I want to say these things "out loud." Perhaps I'm just sick of being told not to do things I would really like to do. It would be fun to take a leap and go check it out. After that I'll consider all these looming factors that are keeping this from being the best.idea.ever.
The world can't hate me for thinking that working with CK might be fun too...Right?
Although there are about a hundred reasons I can think of that show we might not ever really get along. We discussed politics ever so briefly yesterday and I think he got mad at me. haha. I mean he even said that he doesn't like to talk about that stuff because it gets heated. Couldn't help myself. Especially not after he started bashing public school [he was home-schooled]. He was saying that kids were forced to believe whatever was in a textbook and couldn't think of ideas for themselves.
Now, I'm not going to say I hate the idea of homeschooling. It could be great for a lot of kids. But I also don't think that public school is horrible. I can say with 100% certainty that I am very adept at coming up with my own ideas and thoughts on the world. I can argue against any old copy of a textbook if it's lying. Just because I went to public school doesn't mean I can't think critically or that my parents [ie: Mom] didn't also teach me at home. None of this was said to CK. He seemed slightly agitated and I didn't want to push it. Not in front of mom and in this business environment. I wouldn't be against bringing it up in a personal setting though. And that's the thing; I'm a huge defender of the underdog. I almost always come up with a way to contradict what you're saying [devil's advocate?] because I can see both sides of things. It's part of my empathy-flaw. Like I can't help it at all. The words just spill out of me. I know my family is annoyed by it. Being like that around CK long-term would probably drive him crazy. I'm not sure he could handle it and I don't know how to turn it off.
Anyways, I just wrapped up a quick chat with Mom on the car subject. She thinks I should go check it out and then decide. Apparently she's worried about my not having the gas money to run it? I don't know. That seems like a weird excuse. It's not like I spend my money on anything else. A couple bucks towards gas is something I could probably swing. Like whenever I get a real job this shouldn't be an issue.
We'll see how it goes. I'm kind of too nervous to even make the necessary calls to go check it out and I don't know if I want CK there, although a 'good' mechanic would be helpful.
Decisions, decisions.
rose.
2:39pm
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