I Know It's Time [Friends Only Entry] Thursday, October 23, 2003
Oh Dear God, please give me the strength I need to do what is so important. I know I have to let go of Keith now. I have to. I have to stop thinking "maybe" and "what if" and "he gets one more time." This has to be. I have to just tell him that I truly believe that deserve someone to needs me as much as I need them. I deserve a man that wants to answer my calls. I deserve a man that wants to marry me because he LOVES me, not because he wants to become an American citizen.
This is something I need courage for, which is kind of different. I have never had a problem just telling a man that he isn't good enough for me. I have kicked out a lot of people of my apartments when they couldn't pay the rent, or when they treated me poorly. However, with Keith it's all different. I really truly loved this man, and do you know what? I think he thinks it's because he tricked me into loving him, but that's not true. That man didn't have to do anything... I had just danced with him one day and all of a sudden it was like a serge of energy went trough me. I fell in love with him at that moment and never let go.
I just pray I have the courage to let go of him tomorrow. If he pays me back the money tomorrow it will be easy. If he doesn't, it's going to be hard... but I know it's time.
Her
Loading comments...