I should probably write an entry. I wrote that sentence which, at bare minimum, already speaks to my intent. I’m waiting for a toxic blend of the tail end of a few draino bottles to finish gurgling in the ridiculous handicap tub wherein I am the sole bather. Not suggesting in most households multiple bathers gather in the tub for harmonies, though it’s a fine use of flesh, voice and water. I just mean no one else uses that tub at all.
Of all the people in the house I’m the one least likely to be disturbed by an extravagant expense that will never get it’s money worth. The other male member of the household is likely as not to have loud conversations with himself that mostly involve derivations of his own name, like a bad SNL skit where the only dialogue is Dude. The distaff member (a phrase my brother the retired attorney cracks himself up with when referring to a female member of a household or lawsuit. Pretty sure half of the pun is penile in orgin.), that’d be my mom, is the most likely to think of paying retail for a pack of gum when all she wanted was a stick was some crime ranking up there with usury or cannibalism, is the one who purchased the behemoth of an impractical tub. Part and parcel to the deal was handrails going up the flight of stairs so she could get to the tub. She’s only been upstairs once.
So, that’s a lot of information for; I’m just writing shit because a watched drain never boils and yet an ignored drain does --- I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s bad, maybe calls 1-900 tub porn sites at 2.99 a minute, or gurgles in the neighbors basement.
Ok, yeah. It’s bad. I think on top of everything else I’ve made mustard gas in the bathroom. Whereas I don’t think the Geneva Convention was meant for individual homeowners, I’m still pretty sure I’m in violation. They should send me to Geneva and give me a sponge bath.
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