Today Debbie had surgery. Nothing big, but still it had its dangers. I remember when I worked in the O.R. back home, back in the 70's. We had a girl on the table doing a similar procedure, when she started bleeding. I ran multiple units for her. She did survive, but it was touch and go for a while.
So I have the memory in my head the whole time Debbie is having her surgery. Her mom was sitting with me and I dare not say a thing to her, and of course I could not talk about my fears to Debbie as her being a Nurse, well she was on edge bad enough.
The surgery went quickly, we have a follow up appointment next Friday and the biopsy results will be back by then and we will know if another surgery will be required.
Deb has been in bed sleeping since we got home. I have been hovering over her, but she never knew it. Finally when she awoke I hopped on my Harley and rode to the pharmacy to get her pain meds. When I got home she was sitting up in bed, a good sign.
I have fixed and served her dinner, now she and Maggie are propped up in bed watching television.
I was so scared today, we ahve known this was coming for a few weeks. I have tried to be the strong one, as Deb was been thinking the worst. She was and I imagine will think it is cancer untill the lab results come back. But when I spoke to the Doctor he felt sure there was no cancer there. I know we cannot be positive till the lab is done.
In Pre-op I did finally break down and cried as I held her. We have our rough and difficult times, but I cannot imagine living without her. I would be lost, I would melt down, it would be ugly. She was even telling me that should this go bad that I had to be strong and go on. I do not like to think about.
So now I wait and pray till we go to the follow up appointment and get the lab results next Friday.
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