Sitting here in Just talking

Usually when the house has people in it, and it dont matter who or how many people are here im somewhere out of place.
I often don’t feel like I should be here in this place. The person that is me hates the person that I am.
I never really fit in in school and never fit in when school was over.
I been in relationships where they failed .
I made my relationship now successful, but I just never fell im good enough for my wife.
Tragedy struck us and it just feels like its hard to mend. With a 4 month old it never really changed our loss. Dont get me wrong I absolutely love our baby would give up anything for him. It still a long road to mend our broken hearts. Really we know that we are both broken right now , kinda like trying to wrap duct tape around a slimey bloody heart hoping dark temptations dont set in. Duct tape dont work on slime.
My best friend I dont really talk to, and my probably closest friend from work is one I dont let in my personal business.
It seems easier to keep it in or hide behind a name tag.