Keith... Keith... Beau? [Friends Only Entry] Monday, November 11, 2002
There’s a man out there. He’s gentle and he’s kind. He’s very shy. He has a very hard time looking me in the eyes. I have been avoiding him. I am afraid it’s because he is gentle, kind, and shy. It doesn’t stop him from calling me and stopping by my work. He came into work on Saturday. We talked for 45 minutes. I closed up my office and he walked me to my car. He was too shy to ask me out. I didn’t ask him if he wanted to do anything because I was thinking about Keith and thought maybe Keith would call. I sat home last night while my roommates went out to the bar with out me. I knew deep down inside that Keith wouldn’t call. He avoids me every Saturday.
The new man’s name is Beau. He makes it so clear that he is interested in me. He calls me all the time. (well he did until I disconnected my home phone and haven’t given him my cell number) He comes into my work to see me. He enjoys making me laugh and he’s a good person. He’s going to college and works very hard at it. He’s close to his associated degree. He’s just an all around good guy. He wants to take me to a movie. Maybe I will go with him this week. I know I like him at least a little because I won’t smoke in front of him. I smoke in front of Keith now. It’s not that I don’t like Keith, it’s just that he does nothing for me, so I have a hard time doing things for him. There was a time that I would have quit smoking altogether for Keith. That day is probably over. Just like the day of Keith and I ever being in love.
Beau has never even made a move on me. I don’t think he would either unless I made the first one. That’s not going to happen. I enjoy being with someone just to talk and laugh. We were standing in the parking lot after work on Saturday and I got my basketball out of my trunk. We started playing a little. It was so nice. It’s been so long since a guy treated me with complete respect. I got nervous. I didn’t know what to say. So I did what I always do in these situations. I turn manic. I get overly happy and confident. I pretend that I am in charge of the moment. When in fact I am very nervous and just want to get out of there.
Anyway… now that I have caught this diary up on my life, it’s time to write an entry about …
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joe 12/10/2002 11:35:01 PM
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