I've been uncharacteristically emotional lately. I think it has something to do with the depression medication I'm on. I have outbursts of anger. I get so angry it brings me to tears, and then I get distraught. I don't cry much, if at all but lately I've been feeling like crying over very silly things, like being picked up late from work or watching my brother receive his orange belt in martial arts.
I've been feeling very insecure too. Part of it started when I was with Clair, I felt as if I was nothing more then a big blob of fatty flesh, even though he treated me like gold. But now I'm feeling insecure in my job. And I used to be so confident because I knew what I was doing. But now I feel like if I make one mistake I'll get let go, even when we are all reminded that its ok to make mistakes.
My irritation swells over every little thing. I constantly feel as if nothing is in my control, and that makes me angry. I feel like doing something crazy and stupid, I'm craving diversity and change, but I'm stuck in this pit that I cant climb out of. I have no more patience for people and I have no sympathy anymore. I'm becoming more and more apathetic.
I want to give up, I'm so tired of this upwards battle with my emotions. I'll never win.
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