March Meanderings in Scottish Meanderings

So wish I had better news from my end in this month's update but it's just the same - worse if that's possible. Still just ploughing through the days, forcing myself to do stuff just to participate in life but not enjoying any of it. It's awful. Still hoping this is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) and that it'll get better eventually. It feels like I'm being tortured. I'm continuing to go to NA meetings - sometimes twice a day - as my main source of support - mainly because I'm scared not to to be honest.

I've found it difficult to read Prosebox when I've tried - a combination of not having the energy and not wanting to be reminded of folk going about their daily lives when I'm struggling. Makes me feel very selfish saying that but it's the truth.

And yet when you look at my calendar for March it looks healthy enough (even with Covid in the middle)


but only I know that I've forced myself to do every one of these things because I want to keep the connection with family and friends going. It's like I'm operating on memory alone - so I remember what kind of things I used to like doing and do them - but it's very hard going living like that. It's wearing me down.

So yeah a couple of weeks ago the dreaded Covid appeared and that really threw me for a loop - I was pretty ill for about 10 days straight and it totally knocked the stuffing out of me. I suspect the girls' drama show was the culprit - on the Sunday after the last night everyone was coming out of the woodwork saying they had Covid - so I just wonder how many symptoms were being ignored or how much non-testing was going on just to get through the week! And I probably made it worse for myself because Nikki had a ticket going spare for the Saturday night so although I'd just been to the matinée in the afternoon I decided to make use of it and go back at night. Really glad I did though because Lily had been very professional throughout and not looked at us when she was on the stage (Nikki was there every night so both girls knew where she was sitting) but that evening I had got a seat near the front and she saw me (hadn't known I was coming back) and her face just lit up - it was worth it for that alone! :)

And Lilah was a wee star - she had a little solo in one of the numbers and managed it perfectly - apart from the Friday night when she felt sick so had to miss it :( Luckily Nikki was there so could go backstage and take her back to mine - I was looking after Ruari - (another mum was taking Lily back at the end). By the time she got to my house she was absolutely fine but unfortunately, Jane, (Joel's Mum) who has been in Spain for the last couple of years, had made a surprise visit home and of course it was that night she was going to see them! However Nikki managed to get her another ticket for the Saturday so she was able to see her then.

Here they are in the car going home on Saturday night - still all excited but looking very tired at the same time!


Unfortunately that Saturday was Ruari's birthday so Nikki had booked Wynford Farm on the Sunday to celebrate it - it's a big farm with a large indoor and outdoor play areas - and we were all just dragging ourselves round it absolutely knackered! Poor Lily - I've never seen her looking so white. They still had fun though and the sun shone when we were at the outside bit so we couldn't ask for more.

They were fascinated by this Corn Snake's shedded skin!


Plenty of tractors and diggers to play in - Ruari was in his element :)




Hatching a Lily!


Peek A Boo!


And what better than a big hill to run down (except the poor birthday boy gets forgotten!) - while Nikki names all the sheep ......



The drama show made me very nostalgic for my own dancing days in Inverness. We had an absolutely fantastic dancing teacher called Margaret Firth who actually came from Aberdeen and lived here with her mother. They both had a dancing school here but on a trip to Inverness to dance there, Margaret realised there was a gap in the market for a theatre dancing school and eventually moved there to open one. Of course at the time I didn't appreciate what a talented lady she was because you don't as a kid but her shows were well renowned in Inverness and she was just an amazing woman.

She did a show every year at the local theatre but also put on Highland dancing shows every week at the Islands, a picturesque part of Inverness popular with tourists in the summer, at hotels, special occasions - she was just always on the go - plus of course the regular dancing classes every week. I did tap, ballet and Highland dancing - dropped ballet when I was around 10 I think but carried on with tap and Highland dancing right up until I left school and came to Aberdeen.

I'm part of a couple of Inverness sites on Facebook so put out a plea for any photos anyone might have of the shows or the dancers because of course people didn't take a thousand photos of everything in these days. It's been a lovely trip down memory lane as old dancers reminisced about being in the shows and I did appear in one of the photos. Lilah was incensed that photos weren't in colour in those days (well not in the paper anyway) and the resolution is rubbish so it's not very clear but I'm second from the right standing with the long dark curly hair looking at my pal, Catherine. (What I'd give for that hair today :)


I'll have to have a look through my own photos because I think I have another press photo of Catherine & I when we were picked to do a couple of dance routines for a drama company who were putting on a show - one was with a skipping rope I remember so we were tap dancing and skipping at the same time - not easy!

Found it! This must have been around 1973 - all the curls were gone by then :)


And then ....


But actually you know what was nice (for about two seconds) about that? The fact I had a thing in front of me saying this is why you're feeling so lousy! I could cope better knowing there was an actual proven reason - and although I was glad to test negative it also meant I was back to feeling lousy but not knowing why :(

I managed out for Mothers Day though. Just felt shit the entire time. Nikki booked us tea at Tony Macaroni, a restaurant chain in town and we stuffed ourselves. And pinched each others' pudding sundaes!


I got a nice photo of them all on the Rainbow Steps nearby.



The back garden project hasn't moved on very far I have to admit. I did feel slightly better yesterday morning for a couple of hours so was finally able to look at summerhouses but haven't really seen anything that stands out so far. However there is a neighbour across the field at the back who has a summerhouse I quite like so my next plan is to pop over to their house and ask them where they got it as I haven't found it in my google searches so far. I'm hoping if they're friendly they might let me have a look inside and see how big it is as well :)

So that's me. Basically just plodding on. Thanks for continuing to read me even though I'm not returning the favour for any of you on a regular basis. I do think of you often for what that's worth.

Better news next month? Let's hope so.