I went no contact with my parents and my brother 7 years ago. I never withheld contact to my kids once my kids were old enough to have their own phones (about 5 years ago for Blair and this year for Storey, who did have a phone before but never turned it on and also lost it 15 times anyway)
Yesterday, my sister in law, who the kids haven’t seen or spoken to for about 8 years, sent Blair a text in the mid morning, implying that her Pa is dying.
Firstly, WTAF?! You sent that directly to a child?!
I left work to go home and console her, the kids dad called my parents and found out he is not dying, he has to have his gall bladder removed but has to wait a few weeks because of his blood thinner medication.
I text SIL and said please don’t send sensitive information like that direct to the kids and Blair panicked thinking he is dying and had to go home from school and I had to go home from work. We don’t withhold information but we do deliver it in an age appropriate manner.
She just said “No worries”.
Never mind she upset her niece, no apology.
I called my brother and he was abusive and aggressive and spoke over me while I was calm, the usual way our interactions go. Telling me to call my parents and “Blair deserves to know! I’m not arguing (ironically in an argumentative tone)”. Then he hung up on me so I called him a child and a small man. He is pretty short anyway.
When my dad found out, he called Blair, said “I shouldn’t be telling you all this you’re only 16” then proceeded to tell her all this. And in response to hearing the message had upset her “I’m touched you were worried about me”.... um no, You say “I’m sorry my actions upset you”, you don’t bring the narrative back to yourself.
So I was PISSED, he just admitted it was wrong to do, didn’t apologise, and then DID IT AGAIN.
That lead me to breaking my NC and aggressively text him saying which boundaries were crossed, and reiterated that I have not withheld contact to the children but if this shit happens again I will change the kids numbers and we will disappear.
He replied about 4 hours later with projection; “Grow up and get over it”, that I’m spiteful and have an attitude.
I have been PASSIVELY living my life ignoring them all for the last 7 years while they continue to post publicly on social and traditional media mine and my kids personal information over and over in effort to get me to turn up at their house for a hallmark happy ending.
I was OUTRAGED the last time, they published my full legal name, my alias, my kids full names, ages, the suburb we live in, the school they go to.. but still.. passively just carried on and ignored it.
But now to manipulate my child? You will not.
I feel like they’ve come up with their own narrative as to why I don’t want to talk to them, that I’m angry and blame them for things. I mean I do blame them for things but I’m not angry, and those things can’t be undone. That I’m just being an entitled bitch with issues. And I wonder if I should put it back out there again the reasons why, because they seem to have forgotten… but also would it even be worth it if they would just see the contact as a victory and not actually read any of the words I write?
But truthfully, my brother is actively nasty to me, and my parents refuse to work on their own mental health and toxic behaviours, which means this ^ sort of drama ensues every 6-8 months. Why would I want to be involved with people like that? And this event just reinforces that they haven’t changed, the same cycle continues even without me in it.
SP
Loading comments...