Mirrors in A Day in the Life of Me

I decided today, I hate the mirrors in my work bathroom(s).
One more specifically than the other.
It’s the angle… And location…and the fact it shows me what I’ve known for quite a while, but also have been trying to fool myself and deny.
The weight gain.
Fuck.
I WANT to get back to the gym. But now with the new job, and trying to get into the routine of getting up early for work again after being off for the year, and the fact they stopped reporting case number because Omnicom made it insanely impossible, and the fact that in a couple more weeks, restrictions will all be lifted, I’m either using the ‘tired after work ‘ crutch, or the ‘cases will probably spike mid April, so why start now’ crutch.
I hate myself for letting myself get this far again, and also for all the valid/non- valid excuses.
I have ZERO drive to do it at home .. even with the apps and crap I have…
I can’t win with myself…Ugh.