Monday 03/14/22 in Lady Loves the Ocean

Good Morning Monday!!

I am in a mood today. I am not sure why. I am feeling just off. I am kind of feeling empty. Lost. Alone. Weary. Life just seems to be passing me by. I don’t feel I have a purpose or a reason for being here. I feel like I am just going through the motions. I am tired of the same old same old shit. I miss contact with friends. I miss talking things out with people. I feel like I can’t grow without that. I need contact, conversation, people to listen, people to talk to, stimulation. I don’t know what to do. Where do I find this? Is finding a church the answer? I just don’t know anymore. But I am lost. 

What a way to open my diary today. I need to get out and go for a long walk. Soak up the fresh air and sunshine. It is going to be another beautiful day. Temps are expected in the high 50s. It is currently 44 degrees. The sun is shining. This weather is expected all week. With a chance of rain on Thursday. The high on Wednesday is expected to be 70 degrees. I love it. I have opened up all the curtains in my living room to let more light in. 

I really wish I could take a little vacation. I would love to go to Wisconsin and visit my best friend. I think I am going to check on tickets. I am not sure how she will react. Even if I went for just a long weekend. She has been shut up in her house for over a year. She is working through her issues. I am not sure I could get her out of the house but I would like to try. I haven’t seen her for a few years. And it’s upsetting to me. 

I just seriously need a change. Maybe I need to get out and find a part-time job in this town. Just to be around people. Do something different. Make a little money. Get some stimulation, conversation. Something. 

I got out of the house yesterday. I ran to the library and returned some books. Picked up another one. Got my mail. I washed my car. I drove up to see if gas prices had changed. The price is still $3.89. I pray it does not go any higher. And I went for a long walk. There were a lot of people out walking their dogs. And just walking period. It was so nice. 

I think I am going to pull out my little table and chair and put them on my little porch or deck here. I think it is getting warm enough to sit out there. I could drink my coffee or read for a bit. The sun does not hit that side of my house until the afternoon. But that is okay. I long for real spring weather. No snow on the ground. Green grass. Birds singing. Flowers blooming. The earth waking up again. Beauty. Growth. Lots of sunshine. Gentle rains. 

I should be spending time and energy purging shit in this house. Lord knows I really need to do that. I don’t live in a hoarder house by any means. But I do have too much stuff. Too many clothes, too many books, too much furniture. Too much time on my hands. Obviously. 

I am going to get off the computer and get outside for a walk. I hope it will help me feel better for a while. 
Later,
Sheri