I’ve been with her two and a half years and she makes me so happy. Last week I noticed a change in her. Just little things. The way she dressed. She went out with a coworker that she usually invites me along with, not this time. I ask her if she wanted to make love and she turned me down (which is super out of character for her, She didn’t respond to the texts I sent her though the week. Just a weird week.
Friday rolls around I tell her I’m going to do something with her brother and I’d be home later, we we came back to the house for a minute and she was there about to walk in. I hug her and ask her if she wants to go get Mexican food with us, and she responds with “no” again super odd. While we’re out she text me that she needs to take something to her mom, and she’s going to spend the night because she didn’t want to drive home in the dark. Odd but no big deal.
The next day I text her that I was going to do some stuff, and she never responded. Her uncle was having a family cookout that day and her grandma had invited me. My GF didn’t text me back so I took the hint that she didn’t want to communicate with me. I sit down and watch Ganges of new York and drink bourbon for Independence Day. I was sorta hurt that she didn’t ask me to go watch fireworks or anything with her.
Next day I’m sick of moping around the house so I get up go for a hike, have breakfast and go work on a project with my dad. As soon as I get to my parents house she sends me a text “working today?” I told her “yes” and she told me to be careful. I got home very late that night and she’s sitting in on the couch with the hallway light on. Sorta creepy. I ask her about what has been going on. I mean I’m not stupid I know things are wrong. Then she goes into this big spill about her not being happy because she never gets to make important decisions. Back when we were looking for a house she would send me houses and ask me what I thought. Most were over priced for what they were and there were things I didn’t like about them, my opinion exactly what she ask for. But that has become me controlling her and being emotionally abusive in her words. Frankly I have my opinion and I really didn’t want to see us waste a hundred thousand hard earned dollars in a shitty housing market. So she told me why she was having problems. Then I decided to tell her how upset I was about her actions the entire last week and how much I hated what she did over the weekend. The whole lack communications and just leaving with no game plan. All I could think all weekend is “what if something happened to her and didn’t get to see her again” 4th July weekend has been a pretty bad weekend for my family over the years… I thought we had our talks out so I got up walk over to her and held out my hand, and she took it and I gave her a big hug, then I went and took a shower and we went to bed.
in the morning, I woke up at like 6 do my morning stuff. She’s sitting in bed just in a stair. I ask her what’s on her mind “nothing” then I ask again “I like how you decided when the conversation was over last night…” I thought it was over, she said her piece I said mine. Plus I had just been doing carpentry work that day for like 12 hours, I was tired. So we sat around in silence from 7-10ish and I figured if we’re going to be salient and depressed then I’m just going to lay down. She came in to the room and sat at the foot of the bed and ask me “what do you want me to do” I said “what do you mean?” No answer. A few minutes later she packs a little bag and says she’s going to her moms.
Frankly I don’t know what to do, I mean my goal at life is trying to make her happy but at the end of the day only she can make herself happy. I don’t go around requiring people to keep me happy. I have to admit I’ve been pretty sad about it. I really don’t want to go though this. I mean we’ve been talking about marriage, homes, and kids. Frankly, this whole ordeal really bothers me.
It probably didn’t help that I watched gangs of New York the other night either, that movie puts me in a mood.
Update: I’m kind of in a different perspective about things at the moment and maybe I’ll write a post about that in a day or two if you want to keep up with my shitty little life things.
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