stop me before i do something stupid. like say i love you. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

um yeah. this is kindof a sad entry.

I thought. I was strong enough to not. be used.

I thought. she cared but no I guess I was wrong. I thought. maybe I mattered to her but I guess maybe I don't.

I do to others though. but that doesn't change what happened. and it doesn't. change how I feel a whole lot. I'm the kindof person who needs to experience my emotions not distract myself. distraction isn't. it isn't real. others aren't lie that and that's ok.

ya know. it's moments times like this that I miss Pat. well not that I don't always but more.so than usual. cause he was always so good at making you feel like I mattered. he made you feel like you were the most important person cause to him you were. you were.

evan's like that too.

and god I miss that.