My entries are all work related this week because I’m trying to be finished with work for the rest of the year by the end of Friday. Yay!
But before Saturday, it’s going to be hell. I am stressed so hard that I brought my valium to work. Haven’t yet had to take any, but the day is young.
Yesterday I had a moment where I nearly flew up my hands and said “I’m out.” My Support Person (she doesn’t get a name in my journal because she doesn’t deserve one) just flat out didn’t do something that we needed to have in order to protect a million-dollar program. I’d had a meeting with her last week for an HOUR telling her about how this element of the project was TOP priority and needed to be done in the coming days in order to have it out by Tuesday. She nodded in agreement, told me she understood and then proceeded to NOT DO ANYTHING.
Yesterday was our meeting to recap, review and get the project sent out (oh! I think I wrote about this yesterday in my update - but I’m still seething). I included my boss on the zoom call. And we got to that part and I asked if she had the information and she said no…that she didn’t do it.
We couldn’t move on in our meeting so I asked her to go do it and to let me know when she was done so we could review again.
She has disappeared on me! I emailed her about it and crickets.
Once again, I’m furious. I’m also making mistakes because I’m so frustrated and not catching things. Then my boss catches them and I feel like an IDIOT. Doesn’t matter if Support Person didn’t get her part done, this still falls on my shoulders.
This just doesn’t work for me even remotely anymore. Look, when you have to bring narcotics to work to make it through your day it’s just not right.
I know I sound complain-y and I have been like this for years with regards to this job, but it’s finally hitting rock bottom here. I literally can’t function right anymore.
I have a phone interview with an HR person from the company I’m targeting today. I don’t know that the job is the right one for me there - I’m actually trying for another area, but at least I’ve got a phone call!
And then next Monday I have a Zoom interview with the CEO and VP of another company. I don’t really want this job, but it might just be a way out of here.
I’m trying to work all angles here. I can’t take it anymore and I can’t WAIT to be off for two weeks after Friday. It can’t come soon enough!
Better run for now,
GS
Update: Three interviews lined up in the next two weeks. Fingers crossed SO HARD.
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