Ok, so I’m watching In The Mouth of Madness, I mean I am presently watching it. I had to pause. I’m a Sam Neil fan, it’s in my queue because I like Sam Neil, I’ve seen it before. There’s this line “In my business you come to find anyone is capable of anything” and yeah, I’m chewing on that, half watching the movie, and there’s this line about reality blurring and whatnot and I’m writing this silly dialogue in my head along with some pun about how there is virtually no difference between “he sees and He seize” and I figure if I don’t write something down I’m not going to let myself watch the movie in Peace.
Oh, and earlier today I’m coming back from some chores, the first I’ve left the house in a few days, and I’m in line at taco bell and there is some major malfunction, some breakdown between the family in the f-150 in front of me and the Okemos Tacoery and so cars are piling up behind me. Directly behind me the car goes from a quiet little mid-sized ford with a mousey single occupant driver to a riot of grinning pit bulls in the flash of an eye. I counted no fewer than five popping up at the three partially open windows one nose to a window at a time.
I really wanted to get out and tell the lady that my pits only English was Taco but I did keep expecting the line to move and, of course, my rather large grand Cherokee that should have had five pit bulls in it had none. If I had known F-150 and Taco Bell were at such an incredible impasse I would have gone back, learned the name of each dog and taught at least one of them to sing La Marseillaise (though in English because I don’t know how to teach French to a pit bull, maybe a rott, but not a pit. Ok, I don’t speak French myself, but I had the time to at least teach one of those dogs the tune.).
In fact my entire day has been like that; waiting for things to un-clusterfuck and/or thinking of silly/horrible shit. Ok now, shush, I’m watching a movie. I’m pretty sure everyone goes crazy.
Ok, couldn't help myself. I had to write the following foolishness;
“What the hell is wrong with these people?”
“A little more specific?”
“Ok, the crazy one?”
“Lost his sense of wonder.”
“The ugly one?”
“Lost his sense of style.”
“The dead guy?”
“He’s dead.”
“Yeah, but what’s wrong with him, I mean besides being dead.”
“Hmmm. A prejudice on my part to be sure. I’ve always considered death as its own explanation, sort of a way to wipe the slate clean of rights and wrongs. He lost his sense of humor.”
“Heh. Fair enough. I’ll take those three then. In my line of work you discover anyone is capable of anything.”
“And what is your line of work Sir or ma’am?”
“I’m a paper boy.”
“You’re a monster.”
“Oh this old skin? Yes, I suppose I am. I deliver pretty early in the morning and it’s only the free press and I hardly even taken a bite out of anyone on my route but the other kids do get more tips. Don’t suppose there’s a discount on three is there?”
“Afraid not.”
“What about the dead guy, you can’t take ten percent off the dead guy.”
“Sir or ma’am, we’re listed in Carrion Quarterly, dead guys are our mainstay.”
“You dead?”
“I beg your monstrosity?”
“Just asking, you seem to have lost your sense of humor.”
“Oh. It my business you find everyone is capable of not laughing at something.”
“Ok. Wrap em up, I’m late for my rampage. Tokyo is not going to eat itself.”
“Certainly. Cash or credit?”
“Um, change mostly, nickels and dimes I’m afraid. You know us monsters aren’t all that different from man’s best friend, I mean we share an opinion dogs and us.”
“Yes? What would that be?”
“That, on the whole, mankind is entirely too dry.”
“Heh. Good one.”
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