A world beyond me??? in To not be here

After giving up my own cellphone for a month, I realized so much about the world. I saw things I would’ve never imagined were true and I accomplished so many things I thought I would’ve never accomplished. It has helped a lot with getting over the cheating and break up situation and I have made so many new friends. The process of getting over my ex was a little challenging due to the few breakdowns I had but I now realize that life is life and people come and go. I’m still barely in my youth years. I shouldn’t be having to worry about whether or not I’m good enough for a person to love me forever or if my body is up to there set standards. I feel more free than I did before and I discovered that I love to explore things. I’m way more into P.E. than I was before and I even started doing my work instead of begin sad all the time. I do regret not listening to my mom about this boy though. I should’ve seen the red flags and left when I was less scared to be alone. My family has shared with me that my mental health seems way better and I laugh and talk more than I used to and honestly, I don’t doubt it. Whether it was getting out of the toxic relationship or giving up my phone for a month that helped me realize I was so much more than I ever thought I was and loved more than I could see, I don’t hate my ex for what he did because I would’ve never made it here with out his decisions, I don’t know whether the current state I’m in as I’m writing this is just my impulsivity and Manic state or if I truly feel this way but all I can say is I feel like I genuinely love myself more than I have before. I feel so happy. Almost like I can accomplish anything and am wayyy on top of the world. Life is starting to become good and I am so grateful for everyone who stayed with me and is still staying by my side throughout this whole process. With every part of me I love you guys for helping me realize life is worth more and is more exciting than I thought it was :) <3