Blocked in Stories to bide the time.

So I blocked the user that left that last comment.

She said she was a reader for a long time and has read my cocaine fueled and pill fueled “and every drug under the sun” fueled “rants”. Then she said my son was a gift and she hopes he gets taken away from me or else he will turn into a Lucifer like myself.

So I blocked the bitch.

How does one turn into a Lucifer? Like…do they literally become the fallen angel? And if so, how many people can be Lucifer at the same time? I am very interested to know how to become someone else. I think that would be a fun party trick.

I digress…

Yes, I have an entry on here where I was very high on cocaine, haha. It was before I met my wife and WAY before we had our son. Oh man, I was really high.

Yes, about 8 months ago I went away for a weekend and ate mushroom and took some e with it (because the e makes it almost impossible to bad trip) also, I would like to point out that I did it away from my family because doing that in front of my family would be irresponsible.

Yes, my wife and I like to microdose mushrooms every so often. We will take extremely small amounts, so small that you don’t really feel anything, and we brew it with a tea, and although you don’t feel the effects, there are physiological changes that take place in the brain, restoring and renewing neural pathways. It is a great treatment for depression, anxiety, PTSD, or even just increasing cognitive function in general.

Yes, I like to share DMT with the people I care about, and occasionally will smoke some myself. Again, not in front of the children. The experience lasts about 15 minutes in real time (because time kind of loses all meaning to the person who has smoked it) and you come back feeling jubilant to be back on earth, and the afterglow can last for months.

Yes, I like to have some drinks every now and again. And yes, our children see us have drinks and they know that they are called “Adult beverages”, and I believe in raising children to have healthy drinking habits instead of pretending that alcohol doesn’t exist, because being raised mormon we were never taught anything about alcohol except that it’s bad, which led to my having no understanding of how to regulate my drinking in my early 20s.

And yes, I take a lot of pills, every day, because I am bi-polar and I need them to function.

But I am a caring, gentle, loving, and encouraging father to my son AND to my two little step daughters.

I’m a good husband who will do anything for my wife.

I have a great job in the tech industry (which I assume would be incredibly hard to maintain if I was a fucked up “druggy” (as she put it, hahahaha which makes it impossible to even take her seriously. Like, who the fuck says “druggy” except for maybe kids in middle school twenty something years ago?).

And who the fuck straight up tells a complete stranger that they wish their children get taken away? I mean, you might think you have the slightest idea about me by reading this online journal, but this is such a small sliver of who I am, and mostly a place I come to vent frustrations or work out feelings of sadness (which I don’t encounter very often these days, I am happy to say)

And yes, this clearly bothered me. I may not know anything about this person’s sad, miserable life, and for that I am extremely grateful, and they might not know anything about my totally kick ass life, and for that I am also grateful, but still…words have impact. Whether they are positive or negative, when you direct your energy like that at someone, it has some sort of impact. Especially on a website like this. This isn’t Facebook or Instagram, this is a place where everyone has intentionally decided to be vulnerable (well, I mean for the most part), and everyone is intentionally anonymous. The whole point is to have some sort of window into a persons thoughts, which does not give you the full insight of their life or the ability to say something as fucked up as wishing their children get taken away.

What a miserable piece of shit thing to do.

I may have walked around my own neighborhood drinking pinot grigio, and sure some people think that’s trashy, but at least I’m not a miserable piece of shit.

Last updated October 27, 2021