i told i don't get out enough, i need to socialize more, and stop staying in so much. when the rare moment comes over me and i do want to go do something like grab a meal or hit the park up the road from me for some exercise, i get ignored. i'm badgered to the point of getting extremely frustrated and lashing out; i tell people to mind their business and take care of themselves. i'm told i'm wasting my 20s sitting at home when i'm not at work. i've been in this apartment for over a month... care to take a guess how many of my alleged "friends" have stopped in to see it? they talk about it, they make a fickle plan to stop in, and then never do. my schedule is the same every week and remember i don't go anywhere so it isn't like anyone is having to chase me down. the quiet sometimes gets to be too much and i crave company. the only person that's been in my apartment since i moved in is mark. he helped me hang some things because i don't have a step stool and he's tall. actually he comes over all the time to hang out and watch netflix and eat after work or on our respective days off. he comes in and treats it like his and that's just fine by me. i've even started keeping stuff in my fridge for him so when he's here there's plenty to eat and drink. i'm nothing if not a good hostess. he's the only one that's managed to come over and he's got kids and his own things going on... others apparently just can't.
"you should have a party!" is often what i hear. i've gotten good at ignoring these people because it's just noise. truthfully being a hermit is more budget friendly. not going anywhere means i have a little more money to spend on things i need like new sheets or groceries. i've been looking at dogs and hedgehogs online but i don't think i can justify getting a pet. i don't feel like i'm here enough and that would be unfair. in essence i torture myself with pictures and stories about cute shelter dogs that need a good home. i saw the most adorable basset hound online and i was physically saddened because his eyes were like 'how come no one loves me'. i could've cried.
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