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things. in it said i needed a book...

  • June 12, 2014, 4:12 a.m.
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i don't smoke and i don't care if someone else wants to but when i can't sit on my own porch and enjoy the air because the people who congregate on the steps are smoking like chimneys, yes i get pissed. this is the first night since i've lived here that i'm not sitting inside avoiding it because no one else is out here. i'm also taking advantage of the cool night and the breeze that's coming through. my flowers are still kicking surprisingly. just when i thought they're gone they bloom again. i giveth life, taketh away and bring it back again i guess.

i've been in an odd mood this evening. while things are going well with my job, i'm losing weight and maintaining it, i feel... off. i don't know if it's the amount of time i spend alone or the fact that still not one person (minus my mom and mark) has comes to see me in months but i just sat and cried earlier. it was a pitiful cry too, not even worth the tissue i used. i cleaned my bathroom and kitchen earlier and made a note to invest in a decent vacuum so everything was done by mid-afternoon. i bowl every wednesday up the road from here so my morning was decent. i bowled a 144 which is better than where i started in the first game. the office is going on the 23rd for our, wait for it, christmas gathering, haha. it's taken forever to get a schedule hammered out with who's there, who's left, etc. i ordered a ball and bag on monday and they should be delivered sometime tomorrow to my parents' house. everything coordinates so even if i suck i'll at least look like a pro, lol.

as for the weight loss, i am down another 12 lbs and none of my pants fit. what a problem to have, haha. i desperately need a belt but have to get one. in fact i wore shorts out in public for the first time in years because they actually looked okay on me. my midsection is going to be my trouble spot; whatever abs i do have ache from my workout last night so i took this evening off. i allow myself one cheat meal a week but i never overdo it. same with a soft drink- if i want one i have one but for the rest of the day it's water and i don't have another one for at least a week. my system has worked so far. encouragement from mark has been paramount because there are truly days when i just want to eat and cry and throw a fit but he talks me off the ledge and reminds me that he can tell i've lost weight and i look great. i don't need fluff compliments to do this but it doesn't hurt to hear people tell me they notice.


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