In a bit of a headspace. Storey is taking the broodiness of adolescence a bar above the sassiest Blair ever managed to get to. She’s been late to school daily for almost three weeks. Sometimes not even going because she doesn’t get up until 1pm and by then, what’s the point? I yelled at her last night. About the same things; non compliance, living in filth in her room. She hasn’t spoken to me today and I don’t blame her, that’s not the type of parent I endeavoured to be.
Tonight I have modelling for life drawing and I’m supposed to make dinner before I go, I have a million other tasks to do and work starts tomorrow at 6am. That always makes me anxious when I haven’t worked for a few days and then it comes at me, looming. I should go down to get some groceries and prepare an actual meal for the kids.. ha, or for me for a change. We all know I’m going to sit here as an anxious blob then throw a packet of crackers into a bowl for “dinner”. I’m so good at parenting -.-
Addiction is still a thing, although I have gone back to journaling and drawing. Not sure if it helped before but it was nice to have something to leave thoughts and doodles in that time when everything was terrible forever. I guess we’ll see in time.
SP
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