Sorry y’all. After reading notes from last entry --- I have to see a doc every six months whether I need to or not. It was one of those things. I wouldn’t have gone for allergies. All things considered I’m in pretty good shape. The oddest thing they did is order a lung function because I quit smoking. What the hell.
The treatment for the allergies? OTC Mucinex. Let’s toss a what the fuck in with the what the hell. They tip-toed around the whole pain management thing and suggested maybe I didn’t want to do that anymore. Because they tip-toed I gave them a tip toey kind of answer, pointing out how very mild my prescriptions were and how I haven’t had the dose raised or moved onto to anything more severe in over five years.
Oh, the they; my intern is leaving so the attending stopped in to say shit. I don’t even know who my doctor will be until the med students come back for the fall. I do know the attendings will continue my meds, which is pretty much what the six month appointment is about.
The non tip toe answer is, of course, “You made me sign a narcotics contract, it also has your signature on it; I’ve upheld my half. As much as you think it just mitigates your liability, it also obligates you to treat.” That speech is peppered with various expletives as needed, e.g. Fuckwad, asswipe, jerk-off.
Again my apologies for the misunderstanding; it was nothing but a chicken wing. I compartmentalize more often these days than I’m used, some of which is necessary. I went to visit my dad yesterday. First time he was full on delusional. He was mad that he couldn’t find his car keys because it was Saturday and he needed to go grocery shopping. For some unknown reason my mom told him his car was in the shop. He got angry and asked if she expected him to walk back from the grocery store. That’s a far cry from short term memory loss or, as diagnosed, mild cognitive impairment.
Oh, yeah, shit, my docs finally have a real diagnosis on my chart. I always wondered how they were going to justify the scripts with a diagnosis of allergies and untreated cervical lesions (my intern’s idea of why my left arm was numb, though it turned out to be wrong, the MRI of my neck showed crunchy vertebrate).
The compartmentalization has nothing to do with my own privacy; I’m old school online diarist, I have no privacy, though, like anyone else, I omit things that are unflattering but mundane (e.g. If I hit a busload of nuns with my jeep and push them over the cliff it’ll go in here, if I tap the bumper of a Karmen Ghia getting out of a parking space I’m likely to omit, besides I didn’t even do it and you shouldn’t park your fake as VW that close anyhow, wth wtf.). For what it’s worth those compartments overflow with a bounty of good.
After making fun of the intern for suggesting mucinex --- um, seems to do the trick. The lung test isn’t a horrible idea either, though it sounds like one of those things HMOs do to drive up cost. And, shit, you know, I could be wrong about allergies, I mean I don’t think I have some horrible lung disease but you know if some kind of inhaler helps out that’d be cool. Again, all things considered, I’m pretty healthy, sure I might have some bondo here and some duct tape there, but, you know, fuck off.
I had an opportunity to get some bacon flavored ejuice, I mean a free sample. I passed. I’m not delusional. Yet. Not that delusional. Yet. Probably.
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