Every time I let you enter
Deeper inside of me
I hear the Voice of God
I hear Him welcome me.
I feel His Embrace,
His Love, His Forgiveness.
Even after all that I’ve done,
He’s still there. Loving. Waiting.
To be touched by this Love
Feels almost unbearable.
My mind cannot grasp,
Understand how this can be.
How can I – Me –
The ungrateful shit that I am,
Be deserving of this?
After I’ve cursed His Name,
Defiled and dirtied myself, over and over again.
After I’ve tried to destroy and blame MEN,
Corrupted and soiled WOMEN,
How can you still give me access to this?
How can I still deserve to feel His Presence?
It makes me re-question the Nature of LOVE, the Nature of MAN.
It makes me re-question EVERYTHING.
It makes me wonder who I am.
Who I could be if I could just let myself BE.
My whole body starts to shake.
Trembling from the CORE of my being.
The ties and karmic bonds – that keep me so small – begin to shatter.
My roots are being Unrooted. Rerooted.
I start to break free, I start to breathe.
I start to remember, I start to LIVE.
You give me access to EVERYTHING I’ve ever dreamed of, and more.
You open doors to PRIVILEGES and REDEMPTION I did not deserve.
How can this be is possible?
How can you give me access to this?
How can this BE?
WHO ARE YOU? WHO AM I?
It feels like my brain is too small to comprehend.
It feels like I need a new body. A Reset. A Reform.
The one I have feels so small, broken, and congested.
Unable to bear the IMMENSITY of what you AWAKEN in me.
And then you say:
“Hold on to ME…
Dare to feel the INTENSITY
Of your DESIRE for ME!”
Something accepts. Releases.
My whole being transforms into one big ORGASM.
Endless. Frictionless. Pure BLISS.
Transforming. Nourishing. Growing. Radiating. All around.
I feel YOU inside of me.
I feel HIM everywhere.
I feel EVERYONE around.
I feel a LOVE
So BIG and BOUNDLESS
Indescribable.
I feel the PULSE of LIFE
Circulating.
One big ORGANISM. Pulsating.
Being put in MOTION.
And my little part in it.
A small part, almost meaningless compared to the Whole.
Yet, I feel USEFUL. Part of the Whole. CONNECTED.
I become formless, DIVINE. Radiant.
Through my Experience of YOU,
I discover the Nature of LOVE.
The Nature of MAN. The Nature of WOMAN.
The Way back to what I have forsaken.
The Way back to GOD.
You are the KEY that brings me back to LIFE.
Back to Sanity. Back to Dignity. Back to ME.
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