You were supposed to be ok.
I thought you loved him, but it seems to be a more tenuous thing than I imagined. You say he’s a bad father- I’m sorry. This one time, I’d hoped you’d gotten it right. I thought maybe it was good, you marrying someone I had never met, never influenced. It’snot that my influenceis bad, but I know you didn’talways want it. I know I haven’t always made things easy. I hoped he did.
Is he even the father? If not, did you mean it to be that way? I know that a child is all you’ve ever wanted. I know you guys are poly to some extent too- still, I assume he assumes it’s his kid, but some of the things you’ve written suggest you believe it’s not.
Maybe I’m reading too much into your posts, missing crucial context. But certain things line up to tell me at least this- you’re not doing okay. And yet,
Reaching out to you is… difficult. I don’t want to overstep boundaries. We’re not like we once were, and I respect that change. Still, part of me just wants to come out and say, “Tell me what’s wrong.” I don’t think you would want to say necessarily, to me at least.
Reading the DLS again, it’s trippy. Lost you for a sec, but found your new name. Your new look. Your same old secrets. Do you ever look at my profile? I wonder if you’ll see I’ve logged on. I wonder if you’ll know what that means. Likely- you’re not dumb.
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