Dreaming, In Love
Entries 23
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Anyway in Why Worry?
I’m glad you’ve found this group, genuinely. I wonder, often, if you’ll ever care for me the way you used to. (Or did you?) You may say that’s unfair. You won’t find me correcting you. There’s no...
Don't Get Too Comfortable in Why Worry?
Never assume you belong. Never assume they want you around. You aren’t good, you’re- Spiralling spiralling spiralling. An old friend visited, it’s you! A lover of Vonnegut, embracer of Gonzo styl...
I Remember Now in Why Worry?
Her. The childlike side. Pieces are falling into place, not enough to decipher. Is it… wrong? That I always loved Ash?
I Do, Though in Why Worry?
Worry about you. I don’t know what to say anymore. But I do love you, still. I just feel like… The pressure on our relationship feels unabated. And I’m not trying- I hope it’s not me, somehow. Ma...
Surprise in Why Worry?
He got work before me! That’s pretty funny. Makes me glad I didn’t get a job across town- commuting would have been a bitch. A test run, for him- can he handle 8 weeks of work without having too ...
Summertime in Why Worry?
They didn’t offer. I was surprised, but I’m honestly kind of relieved. Don’t have to worry about transit or anything like that, his anxiety’s getting managed better but still has attacks. Best if...
Leaning In in Why Worry?
I don’t know, I definitely should have worked on the admission essay more. But I kind of am just shooting it off on a whim, to see what they might say. A future option to work towards regardless....
Maybe? in Why Worry?
Maybe I’m ready… to think about going back to school.
Don't Stop Dancing in Why Worry?
Applied for a job. Said they would contact me to schedule a phone interview soon. I feel… reticent about it, but the pay’s decent and the benefits are good. Hours are weird but not the worst for ...
Don't Stop Dancing in Why Worry?
An old co-worker offered to recommend me to a new job. I’m… almost tempted. I do like bread baking, and it’s not good to live off of these savings forever, but I don’t really want to go back to w...
And Yet in Why Worry?
How can you expect someone to not try to love you fully? Your husband? What do you really want? A live in friend, a revolving door of brief romantic attractions, shallow crushes imbued with your ...
Bitter, to be right in Why Worry?
You were supposed to be ok. I thought you loved him, but it seems to be a more tenuous thing than I imagined. You say he’s a bad father- I’m sorry. This one time, I’d hoped you’d gotten it right...
Me in Why Worry?
I’ve noticed, but it would be too cynical and self deprecating (and a lie) to say I hadn’t noticed that it’s not just me. I don’t know that it makes me feel better about it necessarily, but less ...
You in Why Worry?
Are you alright? I see you vague posting, those old lyrics that expose nerve endings in a wound that has never healed Does he know? Not the facts, of course you’ve told him that, but the Signs, t...
2020 Vision in Why Worry?
Quitting? Oh, it was the best choice of the year. Even if I haven’t done everything I wanted to, just being able to relax for a few months without worry has been excellent. Lots of time with my l...
Well, let's (not) say it in Why Worry?
If you haven’t come in because of me, well, good. I don’t want to talk to you either. Petty petty petty, but We’re the kind of friends that no matter the time and distance passed, we always come...
Shaved Legs in Why Worry?
For the first time in.. hell, 2 years, I shaved my legs. Just the bottoms, below the knees- I impulsively cut through the mass of hair on one, and when I was done with that one I found myself com...
Quitting in Why Worry?
I’m going to quit! Maybe in August, maybe in September. I’m not doing Thanksgiving this year at this place- if the other bakery gets back to me, cool. I’d quit sooner. I’d do part-time work with ...
I do worry, though in Why Worry?
I do hope you’re okay. I think you’re safe, and happy, and I hope that lasts for you. I always have. I wonder if you know that. When I think of our past, it’s… not tainted exactly, but there is a...
Stream in Why Worry?
This is what this was supposed to be for, right? It feels like I’m being crushed, the even relentless pressure of being submerged too deep, (maybe maybe maybe) I don’t want to do this anymore. Fe...
Hiccup in Why Worry?
The year’s plans will inevitably be slow with covid. Searching for an apartment for the fall isn’t the best right now but I’ll find somewhere. I’m okay. I’m not okay. I was going to talk to a doc...
Now that that's out of the way in Why Worry?
New apartment in the future, uncertain of where yet. Gotta get more space. Cat needs it, man needs it, if I can get a pottery wheel then I’ll need it. Fantasized about getting a DSLR, almost pull...
Eva, I'm Sorry in Why Worry?
You know Ash, I’m happy for you. I’m so glad to see you living your life the way you had hoped. You did it. I’m proud. But I don’t know how I feel about… us, you know? I think you do. Though, I ...
