On vacation right now. One of those random times lately where I am finding time to write. Things have been so chaotic between work and home life that I haven't had a chance to still my brain enough to write. Here I am though...
Al-Anon is going ok. Haven't talked to my sponsor much lately. She has been so busy with her moving and unpacking. I feel bad because I haven't talked to her much, but I also know she is very busy right now. I have had a hard time making it to meetings, but I am trying to work on the lessons I have learned daily.
Church is good. I wish that it were easier to motivate my volunteers. I'm not entirely sure why the involvement has dropped off so much, but it seems that no one is interested in volunteering. It's hard to make sure that I have all of the volunteer slots filled without feeling like I'm chasing them all down and continuously asking them every single day to sign up. It feels like I am asking so much of them, when I really probably am not. I know we are all busy, but ministry is important too.
Work is just work. New boss. Again. Seems like I have a new boss every time I turn around. It can get really frustrating. I am still looking for a new job. I need something that is going to pay me more. My new boss was kinda harsh the first day, and I guess rightfully so, but at the same time it makes me feel really defeated and makes me wonder why I should continue to try and stay with the company if everyone hates working with me so much why should i bother? I know that it isn't a good mind set to have, but at the same time it is very hard to keep working their when I am so aware of how everyone feels. I understand what they are trying to say and do, but it is hard to hear from someone that everyone hates you. I know they are trying to force me out because they are tired of trying to get me to conform but ugh. My self speak is overflowing into why even bother applying for new jobs because I am going to have the same issue where ever I go to work, but I can't stay here because I am not being paid enough to pay my bills and keep food on the table. And coupled with hearing that no one wants to work with me is so frustrating. I dunno. Need to work on my self speak more so I am not cutting myself down because I am better than they think, and just because I've screwed up in the past doesn't mean that I am still that person. It is hard though.
My kidlet is a stinker. She likes to be as stubborn as I am, but she is so beautiful and sweet to the world around her. I love watching her grow and become this awesome little person who cares for all of those people around her.
Well, off to do other things around the house. Hope everyone is well.
~h
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