I don’t think I can handle it any longer. My life is a mess. I really want to get out of this house because every minute feels like torture. I am suffocated and it feels like I only have this small little space which I can freely move.
Today, just like any days that came, I feel really hungry. It was literally hunger because I usually don’t eat on time or I only have 1 decent meal in a day simply because I don’t want to see or cross path with certain people. I don’t know why I prefer depriving my body of foods than to get my emotional state shaken again.
At this moment, I decided to write everything because I feel really weak. My heart which I thought was healed weeks ago came crashing to my face again. Why does problem have to happen at the same time? Why does the worst heartbreak I had should happen together with the biggest fight I had with my family. At this time I know my ex-boyfriend will never come back nor I can fix my relationship with my family. Maybe I should just accept this miserable life until I could stand on my own. Maybe one day I could leave this all behind. Maybe. Someday.
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