Entry 1 in Everyday Thoughts

The whole year has been fueled by an undercurrent of pandemic anxiety. I have pretty much kept myself from getting over anxious. Until this week. For some reason I started having thoughts that finally COVID caught on to me and maybe I will be among the unlucky few who Would not recover.
I always get really absurdly practical about my death. Constantly I ask my partner.. ‘what will you do if I die? Should we make a plan? We live far from home, who will you call for support?’
Today I had the most absurd thought. I asked my partner, ‘ which picture of mine are you going to have framed after I die?’ This thought troubled me. I am really picky about my pictures! If a wrong one is chosen it will torture me in my afterlife for sure!
On second thought, I don’t like any of my current pictures. There is a movie I saw where a little girl hugs her dead Mum’s photo every night. I like that pose. I should do a similar one. It’s peaceful to think my own kid will hug a such a picture of me every night.