Just a little something. in Other life events.

I've been racking my brain a little as to improve myself. All this physical stuff is easy, eating right is easy too. This weeks main focus is going to be pure cardio i think.

I enjoy building muscle but what good does that do me when i am above my bmi? Not a lot. In 3 weeks i've managed to only lose 2lbs (1 kilo) but have lost almost 6% body fat.

So yea, cardio and crossfit machine are this weeks goals. Just run until my legs won't let me go anymore, i did 350 Calories on the crossfit machine today, it was murder but it made me feel great.

Did a little car stuff today, took the rear axle off and one of the leaf spring hangers snapped. They are only about £30 but i just spent £250 on a new door and bearings etc etc. Kind of low on money and morale at the moment. Started smoking again after last weeks let down with Lauren, it's no excuse but it was a blow to my already shattered confidence. Hell she didnt even read my message asking if something came up. Whatever i guess, you can't expect too much from people these days, everyone is the same.

Booking my driving test again tomorrow, i don't think i could handle the shame of failing again.

So ultimately it boils down to that same old question, how do you manage to live your lives? Why is socializing so hard for me? I'm starting to really think i am the problem. Everyonr else handles this fine, everyone else can look someone in the eye while talking too them.

Apologies. This website and my phone dont agree, i am sure you get the gyst of my ramblings and there mistakes.