I honestly don't even know where to start. I'll just start with 3 weeks ago. My boss had just filled me in that he and I are being replaced within the next 3 months. The shock paralyzed me that night. I discovered a Christina Perri cover of Human by Boy Epic that I had on repeat while I laid in bed for 17 hours. I didn't even roll over and I'm not too confident that I slept that night. It was the first time I had festered over myself. I was frustrating to me. I was overwhelming to me. It's like I had the past, present and future all weighed down on me that night. I have three months to acquire what I need from this job. I need it on an application to move out on my own again. To fund courses or workshops that I have yet to jump on. I want to be a novelist but I'm too insecure about my writing. People want me to be painting but I'm too insecure about that as well. I'd have to balance multiple jobs with schooling to keep a roof over my head. This world is built for two and I'm forever alone. I'm starting to envy all these white kids whose mommy and daddy bail them out of everything but alas, this is not impossible.
I was raising a 16 year old last year. He's on the streets now. I had turned my back on a best friend after I fought to get him into rehab. He's dead now. I've been making my mothers future one of my top life long priorities. She's up against cancer now. That's just a brief recap of the heavy since my last blog was shutdown.
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