Trouble At t'Mill in Scottish Meanderings

I'm waaaaay behind on entries and have been ever since NoJoMo - my bookmarks regularly got up to 5 pages at that point and I thought after Christmas I would just spend extra time and catch up but I haven't been able to get it down to less than 3 pages yet. And to make it worse I keep seeing interesting people in other folks' notes I want to add and have to really force myself not to!

So Merry (Belated) Christmas😊 My decorations are all still up and will be for a while yet although I must admit I’m getting quite a workout from climbing up and down on a chair to switch 3 sets of lights (old ones not in a timer) on and off at the window every day!


I can't believe I still have these Christmas letters and I apologise in advance for the wonkiness of them - makes me twitch just to look at that pic! I've literally had them since Nikki was a baby and they drive me mad every year trying to put them up because I'm not quite tall enough so need to stand on the settee/chairs/ladder to try and get the arc just right which is nigh on impossible - as you'll have noticed ......

I did notice a significantly reduced number of Christmas cards this year (although not as sparse as the above pic shows - that was taken on December 4th!) but the ones I got still cheered me up - and there was a very special one from my brother, Mike. You remember his wife, Jenny, died in August? I may not have written about that in any depth, I can't remember. Anyway when he was clearing out her stuff he came across a lot of craftwork she'd done and part of it was a whole box of Christmas cards she'd made so he decided to send them out to the family. It was lovely to get that special reminder of her especially at this time.


And even though we couldn't go to her funeral, I have to say there is something positive about these funeral webinars. She lived in London so it's unlikely I would have been able to get to her funeral (I mean if we were in 'normal' circumstances) but the webinar meant I could share in the event and listen to her sons gives excellent talks about her. The eldest, Arran, lives in New York and his brother, Malcolm, is in Sri Lanka. Malcolm managed to get over thankfully but Arran couldn't leave the States so he was able to record something and have it played at the funeral instead. As well as that, Jenny was brought up in in Sri Lanka so any family still living there could also 'be' at the funeral via the webinar.

My Dad's youngest brother, Tommy, died the following month in September - the last of that generation - his funeral was in Edinburgh. We have many relations on that side of the family over in Canada and the States so having the webinar meant that they could 'share' the experience with us and it was lovely afterwards to have messages flying back and fore between everybody saying how nice a service it had been and sharing past memories of Tom.

We almost got a white Christmas here - it snowed on Christmas Eve -


- which worried me somewhat because I had a half hour drive on country roads to make on Christmas Day. However there wasn’t any more so that was a relief - it was just enough to get the kids excited and give a pretty Christmas card feel to the day :)

I had a very lovely Christmas and thank my lucky stars that, for once, living on my own has produced a positive result i.e. that I could add Nikki & the kids into my bubble all through the lockdowns and restrictions. At the moment she's not allowed to come into Aberdeen unless it's essential but I'm ok to go out there so I toddled on out on Christmas Day afternoon expecting things to be a tad stressful because she had bought the girls new bed sets (with desks and chairs underneath) from Santa. That meant that they'd been sleeping in with her from the Tuesday onwards as 'Santa's elves were busy building the beds' so she hadn't had much sleep that week as it was - then Lilah and Ruari took turns to be awake from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. on Christmas morning after which Lily woke raring to go at 5.30 a.m.!

However she gave the girls their iPads and managed to grab a nap when Ruari had one at mid day so was actually quite bright when I got there but just after the meal, she turned a distinct shade of grey/white and had to go and lie down again. She was absolutely fine with me through the whole day though which made a huge difference to my Christmas Day, and she'd got me lovely presents and a beautiful card with nice things written in it. Which confused me somewhat I must admit - not sure if it was some attempt at an apology or a peace offering or something? I don't know - and I'm not asking!

I was terrified I would be too ill to go because on the Tuesday of Christmas week I was sick as a dog during the evening until around 1 in the morning. I was really mad on two counts -

(1) because I had only that day thrown out TWO different sandwiches which were several days past their 'use by' date SO THAT I WOULDN'T GET SICK BEFORE CHRISTMAS DAY (!!) and

(2) because I had treated myself to a seafood selection from Tesco to the tune of £3.50 and had had that with lime & coriander rice (both well within date) for lunch. Let's just say that was a total waste of money :( Thankfully it seemed to be a 24 hour thing and after a dodgy Wednesday I was fine - and nice and empty ready for the Christmas feast!

I stayed until the kids were all in bed then Nikki wanted to rant about something that had happened that week so I sat on her bed and listened which made us think of one of the times she came back from her endless trips back and fore to hospital before she had Lily (seriously we spent 5 days just traipsing back and fore, her convinced 'this was it', me knowing full well it wasn't but having to lug a suitcase which wouldn't have been out of place for a 2 week stay to Spain back and fore each time in case it was!). On one occasion when we were sent home yet again, she'd been given morphine so once she was in bed, I sat on the other end of it writing just to keep an eye on her because she was coming out with all sorts of gibberish as the drug took hold :)

So that sent us down memory lane and we reminisced for a while which was nice.

The title of the entry doesn't refer to us (for once) but to the fact that I obviously jinxed the Skinner Sibling Tuesday Night Chats in my last entry by saying I was so chuffed that we'd been going for six months every week without fail - because the week after that Mike and Lorna fell out!🙄

They're both pretty dominant personalities and Mike tends to take over most of the time which pisses Lorna off. And she shows it. This particular night she was talking about her playlist on iTunes which she now can't find and how she was sick of technology and Mike started to tell her about making a playlist on Spotify but she interrupted him in a very screechy way so he turned and started talking to a jumper hanging up behind him to make the point that the jumper doesn't interrupt or talk back! Which was actually pretty funny. Lorna then made a sarky comment that interrupting was the only way she could get a word in edgeways because he talked all the time and stuck her tongue out at him and it all kind of went downhill for a bit.

However that blew over but Lorna felt bad so apologised to Ian & I afterwards and said she'd apologised to Mike as well. Which would have been fine had she left it there but she then went on to tell him why she had been snippy. "Not sure how that'll go down" she said. "Like a lead balloon I should imagine" I replied! Because let's just say Lorna is not known for her tact. And Mike’s not known for accepting his faults.

A few days later there was a long e-mail from Mike basically saying snippy wasn't the word - downright rude was more like it and he'd noticed the sarky comments and eye rolls over the weeks and had had enough so thanks but no thanks - he wasn't coming back. Then Lorna said no no this was her fault so she would bow out instead and he could carry on. Ian & I both told them we all had faults and foibles which drove each other mad from time to time but we were family and should stick together so should find a way round this.

However they weren't budging.

Problem was Lorna is an extrovert, very sociable with lots of friends and two of her four children (with four grandchildren) living very close to her. Mike on the other hand is pretty much a loner - he owns a lighting shop which he's worked in right through lockdown and he's there 5 days a week full time - just him and this other guy who is basically useless. He lives on his own, has one son in New York and another in Sri Lanka and I don't think he has much in the way of friends so I honestly think he really looked forward to the chat with us every Tuesday night - even though he would probably die rather than admit it!

So as it looked like Lorna was definitely not coming back, Ian and I decided we'd try and encourage Mike to return so between us we managed to get him to come back and we had our chat as usual but without Lorna on Tuesday night.

But I think I’ve inadvertently gone and made things worse!

We do our chats at 7.30 through Messenger and I created the group so I'm the only one who can take people off. Just before we were due to start, I suddenly realised Lorna would get the call when I rang everyone. What if she spontaneously decided to pick up? Obviously that would be great but Mike was only there on the proviso that she wouldn’t be so that scenario had the potential to create WW3 again.

And it was now 7.29 so I had no time to think it through properly. I removed her. Which had the inevitable result. She saw it and wondered why and I realised no explanation was going to come out well because basically it looked like I’d taken her off but kept Mike on! So her imagination had run riot. And she’d missed us so was more bothered than she’d sounded in the e-mails.

However Ian and Margaret and I had been chatting about it and had already decided we would ask them both if they were amenable to alternate weeks - Mike one week, Lorna the next. Not ideal but we thought it might be the best solution in the long run. Lorna’s up for that so I’m just waiting to hear back from Mike. And then peace may reign once more.

Wouldn't be Christmas without a family spat now would it?! :)

I'm presuming there will be fireworks in a few hours as we welcome in the New Year - I've heard a few bangs already. I have a great view of the town from my bedroom window so will have a ringside seat at midnight.

So now it’s only left for me to wish you all a much healthier and safer 2021 from the Glowsticks Family below (courtesy of Lily, Lilah and Ruari plus some strategically placed glowsticks) - let’s hope it’s a much better year for all of us!

Slàinte Mhath!