progression setback in teenage years

I’ve been pushing myself to go out of my comfort zone for the past week but today was a total setback. Two days ago I took myself on a date and it truly opened my eyes to what’s causing my sadness. There’s so much to write about to truly nail what is it but for a brief summary; my home life. My whole mood changes the second I walked inside my house. I feel trapped and I can’t really do anything about it. I don’t have enough money to move out nor anywhere else to go. but that was two days ago. Today my girlfriend and I got into a fight that ultimately led to our separation.. for a good hour. She discussed her reasoning and it was completely valid, I’ve been shit to her. I keep promising to change and I truly want to but I have too much weight on me and I tend to harmfully unload on her. It’s like I can sorta feel her losing interest. If I were stable the idea of losing our romantic relationship wouldn’t bother me much. If I’m being honest, we would be better friends than lovers. But I’m so dependant on her validation I can’t bear to lose that right now, so I begged for another chance. Didn’t feel like doing much today after that. Also, I suck at art. As much as I try I can never express my feelings in a way that’s aesthetically pleasing