it's one way to survive in addressing the public

it’s too painful
so disdainful
inside i feel the shards of glass

at first a tingle
just a prickle
and then it doubles me in half

indecision,
tunnel vision
would be better than this state

with my eyes open
yet they’re frozen
as inexorable as fate

how without sight
and without might
to face the bull in the arena?

i find the drive
to stay alive
and i regress to an amoeba