Almost 50% of women experience some sort of incontinence in their lives. Things get a little leaky often just as the result of age or pregnancy and it's fairly common to wet yourself a little when stretching a certain way, or laughing, or sneezing. It's much less common in men. I don't know if this is the actual medical reason, but I've always presumed it's because they have external plumbing to help hold things in.
More severe incontinence is almost always a very treatable medical condition. Even untreated, it is almost always temporary. Permanent urinary incontinence is so rare that it's almost not even discussed. When I first started having problems holding in my pee, I was repeatedly assured that the problem would go away.
Nope. I am the exception. My condition worsened and worsened and eventually my doctor told me it was "persistent." I remember giving her a blank stare and then it was explained to me that persistent in this case meant permanent. I was 17 years old.
I went and saw a urogynecologist, a specialist in female UI. I had no idea such a doctor even existed until I needed one. She recommended a series of muscle exercises that took about 15 minutes to do, and wanted me to do them 3-5 times a day. It was a real commitment on my part to stick with that for more than three months, but I saw absolutely no change in my condition.
This all started with a serious UTI that didn't get better even after taking all the medication my doctor prescribed. When I returned for more medication, she told me the infection had spread and now it needed to be treated more aggressively. Part of me wonders if it had just been treated aggressively the first time, I would still be able to pee normally. But I guess I'll never know.
I started out wearing Poise pads in my underwear and sleeping with an absorbent pad underneath me. Eventually, and reluctantly, I started wearing a diaper to bed instead. I hated the idea of wearing diapers, but I couldn't argue with the convenience and effectiveness of them, and I soon started wearing them 24/7. I've been in diapers for four years now.
My oldest daughter is toilet trained and we are working on training her sister before the new baby is born. Eventually they will all be free of diapers and mom will still wear them.
I was extremely unhappy and depressed with this situation for a period of about six months. I really didn't know what to do with myself and I couldn't imagine a life in diapers. I also hated myself because I figured the reason I got the infection in the first place was because of the enormous amount of unprotected sex I was having at the time. I wanted to blame someone but knew it was mostly likely my own fault.
Then I just made the decision to accept it. It wasn't an easy decision, even though it was really the only choice I had. I decided to have a positive outlook on the situation. I decided not to be embarrassed about something I had no control over.
Nowadays, it surprises people how much I am accepting of the situation. I wear diapers. I don't broadcast it to the world, but I don't hide it either. It's just a part of who I am.
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